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Anyone got a plan?

Oatcakes

Ok I have one very happy go friendly twin and one with possible ASD..so how do other parents in this situation manage playdates and friends round.

My poor kid is wittless and I'm not far off...how to I make sure one kid is happy and socialised and the other gets some quiet time in the day.

O keeps getting dragged into games..he goes willingly but soon has reached his thresh hold and ends up over wrought and in tears.

Tried a quiet morning and a play afternoon..but it's touch and go at the moment as I can sense his thermometer rising with his voice. If I bring him in he thinks he's done something wrong and is sad he can't play..but if I leave him out playing he is over excited and screaming by bedtime.

How do the rest of you cope with the different needs of your children.

Thanks

Oatie

xx

Parents

  • My little chap (the one we suspect has asd) has caught it and it's proving to be helping in so far as we can tell the other kids he doesn't want to play.

    Funny he almost seems a little relieved but that maybe because he has it quite badly and it's really knocking him for six. He's coping really well but I have to keep a close eye on it as both boys have severe and rare respiratory problems..chicken pox can potentially cause viral pneumonia..and as he is prone to at least one bout of this each winter we have to be mindful of signs of respiratory distress.

    So far no spots on S his brother but it's curtailing activities somewhat..and in a way it's a bit of a relief to have some respite for O. I really need to work on this better as I can see he struggles to make sense of his feelings regarding social interactions. I wish O had his own special little friend who he could relate better to and it would save him having to feel he needed to compete against his brother to be popular.

    I don't worry anywhere near as much about his twin..he just takes it in his stride but because he isn't as academic as O he does relish the fact that he is better at making friends and can be a bit smug about it sometimes..this causes friction between them.

    It will be interesting to see how your non asd child gets on at school...sadly S has distanced himself more from O since they started, although when O is in dire straits S will always defend him and say 'oh he's just a bit tired today'. They love each other deeply and S just accepts that O needs his time alone..if anyone asks why O has gone off he says 'ah he just needs some quiet time now..he's fine'.

    I do think a diagnosis will help us all be able to speak more clearly to each other about O, and why he is who he is. We are holding back a bit at present incase we are wrong and give the family duff information. It will be a relief to know and be able to explain to others and his brother what we are dealing with.

    CAMHS are coming next Tuesday, and that should be the start of what I am sure will be a lengthy process to some answers.

    Oatie

    x

Reply

  • My little chap (the one we suspect has asd) has caught it and it's proving to be helping in so far as we can tell the other kids he doesn't want to play.

    Funny he almost seems a little relieved but that maybe because he has it quite badly and it's really knocking him for six. He's coping really well but I have to keep a close eye on it as both boys have severe and rare respiratory problems..chicken pox can potentially cause viral pneumonia..and as he is prone to at least one bout of this each winter we have to be mindful of signs of respiratory distress.

    So far no spots on S his brother but it's curtailing activities somewhat..and in a way it's a bit of a relief to have some respite for O. I really need to work on this better as I can see he struggles to make sense of his feelings regarding social interactions. I wish O had his own special little friend who he could relate better to and it would save him having to feel he needed to compete against his brother to be popular.

    I don't worry anywhere near as much about his twin..he just takes it in his stride but because he isn't as academic as O he does relish the fact that he is better at making friends and can be a bit smug about it sometimes..this causes friction between them.

    It will be interesting to see how your non asd child gets on at school...sadly S has distanced himself more from O since they started, although when O is in dire straits S will always defend him and say 'oh he's just a bit tired today'. They love each other deeply and S just accepts that O needs his time alone..if anyone asks why O has gone off he says 'ah he just needs some quiet time now..he's fine'.

    I do think a diagnosis will help us all be able to speak more clearly to each other about O, and why he is who he is. We are holding back a bit at present incase we are wrong and give the family duff information. It will be a relief to know and be able to explain to others and his brother what we are dealing with.

    CAMHS are coming next Tuesday, and that should be the start of what I am sure will be a lengthy process to some answers.

    Oatie

    x

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