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Anyone got a plan?

Oatcakes

Ok I have one very happy go friendly twin and one with possible ASD..so how do other parents in this situation manage playdates and friends round.

My poor kid is wittless and I'm not far off...how to I make sure one kid is happy and socialised and the other gets some quiet time in the day.

O keeps getting dragged into games..he goes willingly but soon has reached his thresh hold and ends up over wrought and in tears.

Tried a quiet morning and a play afternoon..but it's touch and go at the moment as I can sense his thermometer rising with his voice. If I bring him in he thinks he's done something wrong and is sad he can't play..but if I leave him out playing he is over excited and screaming by bedtime.

How do the rest of you cope with the different needs of your children.

Thanks

Oatie

xx

Parents

  • Thanks it means a lot not to be alone. I am trying to find a balance so I can remove O from stressful situations without looking like I am punishing him..but it's not working.

    If I try to find something more interesting to do all the kids playing with his brother decided they want to join in and I end up being the unpaid creche leader..and O gets more stressed cause his space is being invaded.

    I was almost relieved he bit someone today so I could have an excuse to extricate him from a boisterous play session in the garden. They were all 'wrestling' and I could see O getting more and more worked up...ten minutes quiet time and he was fine but exhausted.

    I feel like I am on pins all the time..like your on high alert watching and waiting and I know some of the other kids are starting to use him as the scapegoat too...grrr..it's hard not to feel really wound up about it but I am sure me feeling this way won't help anyone.

    I'll let you know if I come up with a better strategy..maybe I just need to tell the other kids to b*ugg*r off more often and let my other son  decide whether he wants to go with them and play elsewhere. I feel like we have people camped on our doorstep at the moment. I would be easier if O could work out for himself when he needs to walk away..but he's still a bit young for that yet.

    Good luck with the party..try and limit numbers and see if you can factor in some quiet games. We are having a party at a gym next month and they have organised some really good activities. Much better than a pub soft play party...I am sure they spray something on the padded surfaces that makes all the kids 'wired' at those places.

    Let me know if you hit on something useful and all the very best of luck.

    Oatie

    x

Reply

  • Thanks it means a lot not to be alone. I am trying to find a balance so I can remove O from stressful situations without looking like I am punishing him..but it's not working.

    If I try to find something more interesting to do all the kids playing with his brother decided they want to join in and I end up being the unpaid creche leader..and O gets more stressed cause his space is being invaded.

    I was almost relieved he bit someone today so I could have an excuse to extricate him from a boisterous play session in the garden. They were all 'wrestling' and I could see O getting more and more worked up...ten minutes quiet time and he was fine but exhausted.

    I feel like I am on pins all the time..like your on high alert watching and waiting and I know some of the other kids are starting to use him as the scapegoat too...grrr..it's hard not to feel really wound up about it but I am sure me feeling this way won't help anyone.

    I'll let you know if I come up with a better strategy..maybe I just need to tell the other kids to b*ugg*r off more often and let my other son  decide whether he wants to go with them and play elsewhere. I feel like we have people camped on our doorstep at the moment. I would be easier if O could work out for himself when he needs to walk away..but he's still a bit young for that yet.

    Good luck with the party..try and limit numbers and see if you can factor in some quiet games. We are having a party at a gym next month and they have organised some really good activities. Much better than a pub soft play party...I am sure they spray something on the padded surfaces that makes all the kids 'wired' at those places.

    Let me know if you hit on something useful and all the very best of luck.

    Oatie

    x

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