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telling your child their diagnosis

simon

Hi -my son is 8 years old and diagnonsed with high functioning autism 18 months ago. He struggles with social situations, making friends and staying calm as well as managing his immense anxiety. He has a part time LSA at school.  

We have so far not told him his diagnosis as we felt it would not really help him and might be detrimental. We talk in terms of him having difficulties others don't and needing support for this reason.  However, we feel that it may be time to tell him he has ASD and then linked to this maybe to be more open about his diagnosiswith others as well. (we wouldn't do this if he doesn't know himself).

However, we don't want him to feel labelled and for this to have a negative effect. Opinion seems to be divided on whether it is a good idea to tell a child this age when they are high functioning asit is perhaps not so obvious to others with these children.  Not sure if this post makes sense...hope it does! Appreciate thoughts.  Thank you.

Parents

  • Discussed Aspergers with my son yesterday for the first time ever.  I like you was worried how to tell them although i knew he knew he was different .

    For weeks now we have been discussing how being different can be good and talking about different positive examples of being different.  I also kept on at how his brain was different to mine , better at computers, puzzles eg it was just better at those things, his passion for wildlife etc.

    When i finally discussed Aspergers yesterday i said " have you ever heard the word Aspergers" which he had not, i then mentioned all the positive traits great with computers, love of animals, great long term memory, attention to detail, he was jumping up and down like he won the lottery saying yes thats me!  We discussed things he may find difficult such as eye contact, busy loud enviroments, concentration, "yes that is me", i stressed those skills can be improved, and he said is it a problem? i asked what would you rather be able to look people in the eyes, or be brilliant at computer games of course he picked games!  he asked "is it an illness" which did tug at my heart" but i replied no, and only used Aspergers as i do not like the ASD "disorder" label as it is negative.

    Still that was the start i left it there the word is out there so if he heres it he understands and i intend to keep it positive, it did help that his Dad is a undiagnosed Aspie too, so he is not alone!

    Good luck it is tough but keep it positive and they will be ok with it as long as you are.

    Puffin

Reply

  • Discussed Aspergers with my son yesterday for the first time ever.  I like you was worried how to tell them although i knew he knew he was different .

    For weeks now we have been discussing how being different can be good and talking about different positive examples of being different.  I also kept on at how his brain was different to mine , better at computers, puzzles eg it was just better at those things, his passion for wildlife etc.

    When i finally discussed Aspergers yesterday i said " have you ever heard the word Aspergers" which he had not, i then mentioned all the positive traits great with computers, love of animals, great long term memory, attention to detail, he was jumping up and down like he won the lottery saying yes thats me!  We discussed things he may find difficult such as eye contact, busy loud enviroments, concentration, "yes that is me", i stressed those skills can be improved, and he said is it a problem? i asked what would you rather be able to look people in the eyes, or be brilliant at computer games of course he picked games!  he asked "is it an illness" which did tug at my heart" but i replied no, and only used Aspergers as i do not like the ASD "disorder" label as it is negative.

    Still that was the start i left it there the word is out there so if he heres it he understands and i intend to keep it positive, it did help that his Dad is a undiagnosed Aspie too, so he is not alone!

    Good luck it is tough but keep it positive and they will be ok with it as long as you are.

    Puffin

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