Hi this is my first post. My son is 16 diagnosed with asd and it's been suggested that he has a PDA profile. He did OK at school going in everyday and just keeping under the radar. At home was a different story with melt downs and constant aggression to the point I had to call social services for help as cahms refused to help him due to the fact he won't talk so they said they had plenty of people who will interact with them needing their help.
He got slightly calmer and finished school. He even started going out places towards the end of that time. He's never had friends or really talked to people but he seemed pretty chilled.
Until he went to college. He's now refusing to go in, wants to spend the whole time in his room in the dark on his computer. He won't eat with the family and chooses to sit in the garden for dinner even if it's raining. His room is a tip but any suggestion of cleaning it is met with a barrage of abuse. As a matter of fact anything asked of him is met with that. He is on the verve of being kicked out of college due to him not going in and he won't listen to anything I say. He just changes the subject or tries to bully me into submission. I know it's his pda and he's not meaning to bully but it feels like it.
The pda part of his personality means that sometimes he can't even deal with the demands of his own body. I've seen him fighting with himself over getting a drink.
The other issue to all this is the constant bad atmosphere and everything is causing stress to my other children and I think my fiance is on the verge of leaving due to all this. I'm also autistic so his constant swearing and shouting and just going on and on at me makes me shut down sometimes.
I'm just at my wits end of what to do. He's clearly depressed and struggling with anxiety. He says he just can't talk to people and his voice goes. But when I call the Dr's they say he has to come in, cahms won't help and every group near me seems to be full of people with 5 Yr olds.
I just feel he needs proper help I can't provide
Sorry if this is badly written I'm just not sure how to explain it all.