Siblings

Hi there 

just looking for shared experiences really. We have two children - girl 13 ND, boy 10 NT. 

ND girl makes life very challenging for her brother. She is in his face ALL the time. She masks heavily all week to cope with school and I get that she is releasing all of this but how do we successfully redirect her behaviour away from him. It’s so frustrating. Nothing we try works. Sometimes she is the best sister ever. Other times she completely invades his personal space, will try and break into the bathroom when he’s in there, will literally peck at him verbally and physically over and over and over again. Nothing we say or do makes any difference when she is in that zone. It’s so very challenging for us as parents, and it’s definitely affecting my son.

Any shared experiences or helpful advice gratefully received. Thank you.  

  • Hi, I am afraid I can't offer any advice, but I wanted to say that I very much recognise what you have said. Our son, 13, is undiagnosed Autistic (I believe) and he also behaves in a quite challenging way at weekends or time away from school. If he is tired, all the worse. His 9 yr old NT brother does bear the brunt of a lot of this, although not to the extreme that your son seems to, so you have my sympathy there as it sounds like a challenging situation. We have to be understanding of our ND children's difficulties navigating life while also ensuring that they don't negatively impact on our NT children and it's a very tricky balance to find. 13 is such a difficult age anyway, but to throw in challenges of Neuro divergence as well makes it even harder.

    All the best with this. Please update if you discover anything useful for coping with the situation.

  • Dear TreacleAndMud,

    Thank you for sharing this with the community. While we are waiting for the community to respond, you may want to take a look at our pages about behaviour, https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour

    Thank you. I hope this helps!

    With all good wishes,

    Eunice Mod