Stigma against autistic parents

How can I get a reputable organisation or professional individual to confirm that being autistic does not make you a bad parent? Yes autistic parents can have parenting challenges but these are no higher than the parenting challenges faced by non-autistic parents. My ex is using this to ask the judge to reduce my time with my child. Thanks!

  • I would try to identify if there are any autistic traits you have that have the potential to impact your ability to parent and spend some time thinking how to defend against attacks on the basis of them.

    For example if you have hypersensitivity to sound and the crying of a child makes you meltdown then clearly this impacts your ability.

    It will only be traits that make you unable to function that are likely to be a potential attack line, plus any that alter your mental state (eg make you angry, panicked etc).

    If the approach of your ex is a broad one about autism = bad then he has no chance but the devil is often in the detail and being prepared will help you defend here.

    Just make sure your lawyer knows all about any of these so they are not caught off guard and if you are open to discussing them here then we can offer advice on possible supporting literature or ways of coping that may be enough for a therapist to give a letter of support for.

  • I also asked Reddit and there's a view that the judge cannot discriminate against autism per se because it is a protected characteristic.

  • Thank you so much!  Your link concludes "it is not autism that is the parenting challenge but the misunderstandings by neurotypical people". Spot on!

  • I would say that any judge who used autism in the way your former partner is arguing for would be potentially guilty of discrimination on the grounds of disability. That is certainly one angle to argue in your favour. The following academic review of the literature available on autistic parenting might give you good ammunition to show that autistic people do not automatically make bad parents: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/aut.2024.0181

    If you can show that autistic parents are not automatically poor at parenting, with the support of similar studies, then the judge will be forced to examine your particular history of parenting without reference to your autistic status.