• Replies 12 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 1715 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

10 yr old autistic daughter being badly bullied.

Quinny88

Just wanted to put this out there to see if anyone has had a similar experience. I’m quite overwhelmed in all honestly, as a parent it’s very difficult to watch my daughter struggle so intensely. I have 4 children, and my youngest is 6 months old. In the last 4 months, My 10 year old is on the autistic pathway. Camhs say they have substantial evidence to diagnose for autism and adhd. School also support this (and have been very helpful.) my daughter has always been on the outside of social groups. And boys have made remarks towards her, but nothing I thought was serious. A few weeks back, she was violently attacked by a boy on the school playground. He put her in a headlock and ripped her hair out (her hair was all inside his coat and down her back). He threw her into a bin and kneed her in the chest repeatedly. Her shoes came off and he threw them Across the playground. He did this twice. This caused my daughter so much distress she was self harming infront of teachers straight after the incident. The boys in her year group have continued to kick my daughter, threaten her and our family. And laugh about the attack. My daughter’s mental health completely tanked. It’s fair to say she was a different child for several weeks. Which is totally expected… but just heartbreaking. The only way we could protect her as parents was to keep her home from school for a while. This calmed things down, but I can see her “mask” is slipping very quickly. I wonder why I didn’t pick up on her autism sooner. I see her struggling in ways she never did struggle before. She is very angry at home and sometimes violent. She had a sensory meltdown at the theatre. She put her fingers in her ears and repeatedly told me “I need to leave now”. So we missed a lot of the show. I don’t mind that. I just felt awful for her. To top it off, I found out that a family member said “there is nothing wrong” with my daughter. I don’t know the context in which it was said… but I felt like a slap in the face to hear those words… as if I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill!? When I speak with that person about my daughters struggles, Ive noticed they stay very quiet and don’t say anything at all. My daughter has lots of typical symptoms of autism, highlighted by the teacher too (who suggested we look into autism in the first place). So, I don’t feel like I’m off track here. It so frustrating, because actually I feel like my daughter’s world has just flipped upside down, when all we want her to do is finish her final year of primary school successfully and feeling confident. I don’t think she’s very accepting of the idea of autism, and feels sad about it all. School are excellent in helping her with her wellbeing. We are in constant communication, I’m on a steep learning curve….. Does anyone have any advice or guidance?

Parents

  • What is being done about the bullying?

    Ripping her hair out, throwing her in a bin, and kneeing her in the chest is assault, and if they were adults, we'd be encouraging your daughter/yourself to make a criminal complaint to the police. We tend to tolerate this kind of behaviour in children more as they can learn and grow out of it, but it still needs to be dealt with.

    I cannot comment on whether she has autism or not - she will need a professional diagnosis - but being a victim of such assaults is itself not a symptom of autism, and would likely ruin anyone's mental health. It is not surprising that she is angry at home. If she doesn't like the idea of autism, then giving her a mental health "label" may serve to just reinforce that the bullying is somehow her fault.

    I'd say the bullying needs to be sorted before dealing with any autism issues.

Reply

  • What is being done about the bullying?

    Ripping her hair out, throwing her in a bin, and kneeing her in the chest is assault, and if they were adults, we'd be encouraging your daughter/yourself to make a criminal complaint to the police. We tend to tolerate this kind of behaviour in children more as they can learn and grow out of it, but it still needs to be dealt with.

    I cannot comment on whether she has autism or not - she will need a professional diagnosis - but being a victim of such assaults is itself not a symptom of autism, and would likely ruin anyone's mental health. It is not surprising that she is angry at home. If she doesn't like the idea of autism, then giving her a mental health "label" may serve to just reinforce that the bullying is somehow her fault.

    I'd say the bullying needs to be sorted before dealing with any autism issues.

Children
  • in reply to mp500

    Thanks for your reply, i appreciate your time! I have been toe to toe with school - and  I didn’t want to document anything too official on here in terms of police. School were not allowing this child in the same area as my daughter. His breaks were taken off him, a member of staff has to be outside with her.  I wanted to move my daughter school because while the school we’re intervening, I told the school it was not enough and why weren’t they expelling him? She finishes school in June, then she goes to high school. She wanted to move school for the last 4 months, I looked at the option but no school could take her. Hence I started a reduced time table - very frustrating that it was my only option to protect her. 

    By no means as parents are we allowing her to feel that this is her fault. To be clear, she was on the autistic pathway before the incident happened, and we talked to her about it before the incident too. We aren’t suggesting my daughter has autism because of how she reacted to the attack. 
    I completely understand why she is angry. We are absolutely devastated as parents that she is a victim of such abuse, it is not tolerated at all. 

    Thankyou again for your response.