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Housing idea where to start

D.L

Hi, this is the first time I’m reaching out in this way, I need any advice, I have a 5 year old non verbal son who lives solely with me, my ex husband and father of my son walked out on us around 2Years ago, forced me to sell the house we owned jointly, I received a fair amount in equity from the sale of the house and moved in with my boyfriend whom I met around a year after the split, it made more sense than trying to support a whole house on my own on a part time wage, so my boyfriend isn’t the person I thought he was, and he struggles to deal with my son and his behaviours and I struggle to want to be in a relationship with him as a result, I want to move out and have a place for myself and my son, I have a good deposit but i don’t know where to start or how I will then afford all the mortgage payments and bills on my own, I don’t think there council would house me because I have 50k in the bank, they’d force me to use that privately renting but that’s the deposit for a house, for my sons security I don’t want to waste it on renting my son needs a home that he can be himself in and where I don’t feel unable to be myself I want a house with a garden as my son spends a lot of time outside, nothing lavish but I just don’t know it I can get any help with housing or getting on the ladder again, I’m so lost and feel so trapped to stay here because I don’t know what else to do, any advice is so so welcome.

  • Where are you based? Do you need to stay in the area you're living in? Could you move to a cheaper part of the country?

  • Don't write-off the council - may be worth seeing what help they can offer (if any) - so get them to confirm what is possible or not, and likely timeframe.

    Thereafter as others have said contact housing associations & mortgage advisor.  But also may be worth contacting any housing/advice charities e.g. citizensadvice to see if they can offer some help.  Maybe a member on here who has a similar circumstance can offer their experience to save you time etc.  Good luck.

  • Pixiefox said:
    have you thought about a shared ownership property?

    These types of property do have their upside but typically they cost just as much as a conventional property but as much harder to sell and the contracts tend to favour the corporate owner, placing maintenance costs on you but giving them their percentage of any growth in value.

    In the situations where there is negative equity then this is all on you.

    I worked with a company that used to build these and sell them and saw that the contracts really are built to protect them at your expense.

    But in this specific situation it may work.

    Most of these tend to be in apartment blocks with no personal gardens though - this sort of property really is at a premium since Covid.

    I wonder if the user would be willing to relocate to a cheaper area in order to get more for her money.

  • D.L said:
    I have a good deposit but i don’t know where to start or how I will then afford all the mortgage payments and bills on my own, I don’t think there council would house me because I have 50k in the bank

    Hello Daya, welcome to the site.

    Sorry to hear you find yourself in this position. I wil offer a little advice on the situation although it probably isn't what you want to hear.

    First of all, find a mortgage advisor and go through the process with them to work out if this is even possible, They can work on being paid directly by you or getting the mortgage company to add their fee to the mortgage. The benefit of using them is they should be able to give good advice based on your specific circumstances and translate a lot of the technical jargon of the mortgage contract for you.

    About the mortgage you would need - a mortgage company will need to see that you have the ability to make regular payments to repay the mortgage to cover the interest plus the lump sum that is used to buy the property.

    You don't mention if you have an income but this will be important as you need to cover your cost of living, pay for the property and keep some cash left over for emergencies.

    The deposit is normally used to give a buffer so that the amount you owe is less than the value of the property. This is in the interests of the mortgage company to reduce their risk exposure in case you cannot make payments and they need to reposess / resell. For them it is a business and they will always look out for their own interests.

    Where this can be an issue is when you have a time when property prices drop or grow by less than inflation - ie the property becomes worth less than the amount outstanding. This has happened on a number of times in my life (1987, 1995, 2007 and a little in 2016) and there is a lot of chatter in investment circles that another cyclical dip is due.

    This is just to point out that being on the ladde isn't risk free. I bought my first house in 1988 and one year later it was worth 30% less than I paid for it and interest rates were approaching 15%. If I walked away I would still be stuck with the difference of the mortgage and the price the bank sold it for, plus fees so I had to stick it out for 7 years until it returned to the price I paid for it.

    Once you buy the place then the deposit goes to the mortgage company and you still owe loads of money yet have little left in the bank, plus you need to furnish the place, no doubt make some repairs or changes and have to take on all the utility bills etc.

    Work with the mortgage advisor and plan ahead where all the money will go and where your income will go to - it really helps to look at the bigger picture as it can be scary to see your last remaining cash dwindle away.

    The harsh reality is often we just cannot afford what we want so it helps to draw up a list of all the options available to you

    Have you considered getting some couples therapy for your partner and yourself to find ways to help them cope better with the situation?

  • Hi and welcome.

    I don't know when you will see this reply or if you will ever see it, as my posts are currently being put into moderation at the moment for no apparent reason (since a recent upgrade, there have been multiple problems with this site)

    However, I do have one suggestion - have you thought about a shared ownership property? See if you can find local housing associations, or speak to someone in your local council's housing department. Housing benefit does not cover mortgage payments but does cover rent, so you would hopefully get some help with housing costs, and you should also get help with council tax. Although you will only own part of your home, there usually the option to buy more shares later if your circumstances change.