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Parent of an autistic child- Employment advice

b4n4n4

Hi All,

I am new here. I just feel like I am lost, overwhelmed and as if I am not getting anywhere.

I got news this week that my daughter (4yrs old- Autistic & non-verbal) needs to go through main stream school in order to get a referral to a specialist school. I spoke to my manager at work, with a view of giving them a heads up on the situation and that there may be days (starting next year Sept 2025) that my daughter may struggle in school and I may need to go take her.

My manager was not kind, nor sympathetic, made a comment 'luckily I don't have to deal with it'. She told me I could not put in a flexible working request to accommodate emergency situations which may arise. Any time I needed to go would be unpaid leave and then my manager paused and said I need to consider the wider picture, there may be times in the year where my manager will not allow me to go as we are busy.

Currently, I work Mon, Weds & Fridays in Office and Tues/Thurs Home. My partners days off are weds/thurs. I was thinking of submitting a flexible working request to work Weds/thurs on campus, therefore, my partner is on standby those days if she not settled at school. I also have 2 other colleagues in my team, who have recently merged with us (we share the same manager) but they have complete flexibility to accommodate their children who do not have a disability. They will freely email on the team chat and say ' my girl is not well so I am working from home today'. I feel discriminated against.

Can I please have some advice or has anyone else ever been in this situation? If you have an autistic child who is not coping well in school, how do you manage? 

Just when I feel, I have built myself up again and gathered strength, I am faced with another obstacle which crushes me.

Parents

  • Hi , I am really sorry to hear this . I was also made redundant because my son wasn’t coping very well when he started pre-school . He is non-verbal and on the waiting to receive a diagnosis . I asked to work part time because my employer wasn’t flexible. That helped to reduce a bit of the stress at work . After a few months they made me redundant. I have just found another job but this time working part time hours . Financially not great but my mental health is so much better. 
    My career is stalling because of my son and I can’t afford certain lifestyle anymore but once he is able to get a diagnosis and support in place, I can always go back to full-time hours 

    Have you thought about going part-time?

Reply

  • Hi , I am really sorry to hear this . I was also made redundant because my son wasn’t coping very well when he started pre-school . He is non-verbal and on the waiting to receive a diagnosis . I asked to work part time because my employer wasn’t flexible. That helped to reduce a bit of the stress at work . After a few months they made me redundant. I have just found another job but this time working part time hours . Financially not great but my mental health is so much better. 
    My career is stalling because of my son and I can’t afford certain lifestyle anymore but once he is able to get a diagnosis and support in place, I can always go back to full-time hours 

    Have you thought about going part-time?

Children
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