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Anxious 16 yr old- what might help her?

Panda's mum

Hi,

I hope I'm putting this in the right place- please let me know if another section would be more appropriate.

Our 16 yr old daughter was diagnosed with "ASD (high functioning)" last October. She'd never been seriously troubled by any of her ASD traits until becoming extremely anxious when her older sister was seriously ill a couple of years ago.

We accepted the referral and the diagnosis because she is so terribly anxious and we wanted her to be able to access appropriate help.

However, once the diagnostic process was complete, and we asked her psychologist what help she would now be able to get with her anxiety, the reply was that autistic people *are* anxious, and the best approach is not to put her in anxiety-provoking situations.  I said that we didn't really feel that was an option, as 1) she is in year 11 in a mainstream school and 2) she has a life to live, and many of the things which give her most joy and satisfaction now were things which initially provoked much anxiety.

The psych went on to explain that counselling and other "talking therapy" approaches are not helpful in ASD because anything which is learned in the sessions doesn't "generalise" successfully into the problem situations.  She also said that medications for anxiety weren't indicated because our daughter doesn't have an "anxiety disorder", but rather an anxiety which is normal for someone with her condition.

Currently, she is having panic attacks typically daily, sometimes more often (and there are odd days with no attacks).  I hope that this will lessen after her GCSEs, but I don't think it will be eliminated, and don't want her to have to live like this forever.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Parents

  • What missykat says about her daughter is just like me. I was an adult in my twenties berfore I was able to express coherently what was causing my anxiety.

    If your daughter is worried about the future, and you have told her that nothing needs to happen now, she need not (for example) go to University until she is 30 and it makes no difference, success is just as likely. She maybe just needs a really big time out, but that does not mean doing absolutely nothing. Having loads of time to sit and think is not so good. If her special interests are other than passive ones (you menyioned TV) she can concentrate on those.

    You mention you have Asperger's but cannot understand panic attacks, do you not suffer from the crippling anxiety usually present in people with autism? Panic attacks are just an expression of this in some people. Turning things over and over in the mind is a very common way of dealing (or not dealing) with stress and anxiety, and of course this will go further into a panic attack in some people with autism. Of course every person with autism is different.

    Just generally, one thing that strikes me with a lot of posts on here about children and teenagers is thier lives seem stuffed with things. If I had had to live these kind of lives with multiple out of the home interests I would have had a big problem as a child. I would not have known how to express it but would have needed most of it to stop, then regroup over a period of months. I have also noticed that a lot of special interests of adults with ASDs are solitary and quiet, but again everyone is different.

    In practical terms a cup of pure camomile tea (2 bags, small amount of honey) can be used as a natural calmative, I have never used more than 2 cups in a day, and they only work to lessen the anxiety and do not do much when it is very severe. Moderate (like walking) and repetivie exercise (like swimming, ballet or dancing). Pets, they are wonderful. Quiet special interests in which the brain is engaged, such as reading (fantasy, non-fiction), maths, science. These take up the extra stimulation in the brain. Musical instrument playing, again is takes up brain power, is repetitive, and if it is the special interest it can be done for hours on end and you get really good at it. 

    Maybe reading about autism, or meeting other young people and young adults who are similar would help.

Reply

  • What missykat says about her daughter is just like me. I was an adult in my twenties berfore I was able to express coherently what was causing my anxiety.

    If your daughter is worried about the future, and you have told her that nothing needs to happen now, she need not (for example) go to University until she is 30 and it makes no difference, success is just as likely. She maybe just needs a really big time out, but that does not mean doing absolutely nothing. Having loads of time to sit and think is not so good. If her special interests are other than passive ones (you menyioned TV) she can concentrate on those.

    You mention you have Asperger's but cannot understand panic attacks, do you not suffer from the crippling anxiety usually present in people with autism? Panic attacks are just an expression of this in some people. Turning things over and over in the mind is a very common way of dealing (or not dealing) with stress and anxiety, and of course this will go further into a panic attack in some people with autism. Of course every person with autism is different.

    Just generally, one thing that strikes me with a lot of posts on here about children and teenagers is thier lives seem stuffed with things. If I had had to live these kind of lives with multiple out of the home interests I would have had a big problem as a child. I would not have known how to express it but would have needed most of it to stop, then regroup over a period of months. I have also noticed that a lot of special interests of adults with ASDs are solitary and quiet, but again everyone is different.

    In practical terms a cup of pure camomile tea (2 bags, small amount of honey) can be used as a natural calmative, I have never used more than 2 cups in a day, and they only work to lessen the anxiety and do not do much when it is very severe. Moderate (like walking) and repetivie exercise (like swimming, ballet or dancing). Pets, they are wonderful. Quiet special interests in which the brain is engaged, such as reading (fantasy, non-fiction), maths, science. These take up the extra stimulation in the brain. Musical instrument playing, again is takes up brain power, is repetitive, and if it is the special interest it can be done for hours on end and you get really good at it. 

    Maybe reading about autism, or meeting other young people and young adults who are similar would help.

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