First time poster so please be kind. I apologise in advance if my terminology is incorrect. My daughter is 4 years old. She has shown symptoms of autism since around the age of 1 maybe even earlier. Myself and her father separated when she was 7 months old and have an ongoing challenging relationship. My daughter was flagged for ASD and ADD of a low level during nursery. She was referred for a hearing test initially which came back clear (as expected). Her referral for ASD & ADD was made 13 months ago and we are still awaiting diagnosis with the possibility of it being in May. She has passed her speech and language assessment last month (as expected). She started a new school at the beginning of September. They have been amazing and she gets support from the SEN department. She sees her father one night every other week and three nights on the alternative week (8 nights but 4 DAYS a month). Her father strongly believes there is nothing wrong with her and it is completely ridiculous that I am pursuing getting a diagnosis. It’s heartbreaking how distressed and ‘out of sorts’ she is when she returns from her dads house. It feels very clear to me that she masks while she is away and lets it all out when she returns home. The past two months have been horrendous. I think I have cried every single day. Watching her in so much pain is completely heartbreaking. She won’t eat lunch in the lunch roll she will only eat it in a quiet room on her own or with a trusted member of staff (her TA). Just to get her in the car at the moment I have to hold her hand whilst putting her in her car seat. I then have to open all the car windows remotely from my key fob before shutting the door and speaking to her at every single window before getting into my side of the car. I then have to play the same song on repeat for the whole car journey just to stop her having a meltdown and ensure that she doesn’t get distressed. On arrival to school, she will get very upset and won’t let go of my clothing and doesn’t want to go in/gets peeled off me. School say she plays alongside other children rather than with them. Bedtime is heavily routines (same plate, same PJ’s, same times etc). I have to sleep with her every night in her bed. This is just some of our ongoings. I truly believe she has ASD and have no doubt whatsoever. The doctors, school and nursery are fully on board. Her dad however is not at all. She was medicated Melatonin on Monday and since taking it she has started sleeping much better especially to get to sleep. She’s eating much better and it is as if the volume has been turned down on the intensity’s of her upset/distress. Has anyone experienced having a partner in disagreement or ex partner? I’d really appreciate some advice. He keeps going behind my back and speaking to doctors and editing appointments without permission. he was extremely controlling and manipulative when we were together and I feel like he is continuing to do that even though we are apart. This evening he has said she doesn’t want to take her tablet and he can’t force it down her. I felt like this was going to happen as he is so against her taking medication or having anything. He sent a text earlier today saying “he’s happy” for me to take her along to an appointment with the mental health team. This evening he also has asked to have a meeting with my dad (who is very much on board and as surprised as I was). The controlling behaviour is infuriating but what I’m most concerned about is where I stand and what are my rights regarding him being informed. No one legal has ever been involved so there’s no custody etc.