Parents of a young girl on EHC waiting list.

Hi all, 

Sorry for the wall of text. 

We're parents of a brilliant, smart little girl who has recently started reception class in a mainstream school.

Since 1 and a half we started wondering if she was perhaps autistic. Her verbal skills have always been delayed and her behaviour erratic with common meltdowns (unable to be calmed, occasionally hitting herself) but we're first time parents and it's all new to us. She was a few weeks early and also born the December before Covid so she barely had any outside influence from 4 months to 1 and a half so we didn't know if these were effects of these either. From 2 she started nursery and 3 she started 3 days a week. During this time we had appointments with speech & language and paediatricians which reinforced our thoughts on autism. However, a SENr eferral from the nursery was rejected saying they believed mainstream schools would be sufficient for her needs. At 4 + 9 months Her speech has improved but she cannot hold a conversation and is still prone to meltdowns as well as noise sensitivity and a lack of basic understanding.

The start of September she started reception and whilst the teachers have been brilliant with her, we have had to pick her up early a few times when she's been distressed but generally she tells us she's "had fun playing with her friends" and similar things. However, in an appointment with teachers yesterday we were told that she has not settled at all. She commonly has 3-4 tantrums per day, crying, hitting herself and headbanging. She has not socialised at all and gets fixated on items. They have said they think she almost certainly is autistic. They have started an EHC assessment a few weeks ago and told us that while she may settle in reception, she will likely struggle in a classroom setting and they would recommend a specialised school. This upset us at first but we do think this would be the best for her.

Anyway, that's the history. But now we have a long wait for the EHC to go through and it could be until next school year until she can get in a new school. We just wanted to see if anyone has been through anything similar. We're hopeful for a different school but worried about the year to come with her struggling and being upset.