What would you do?

My daughter (13) has a very small mouth and lots of big teeth.  The orthodontist has recomended 4 teeth being removed.  We've known this would happen for a long time as she was unusually early with her teeth so has been seeing the orthodontist and hygenist since she was 9.  They were ready to do the work last year but I decided to up sticks and move to the other end of the country to be near family so delayed the treatment.  The old orthodontist was a mum from her school.  It was a small practice, very close to our old home and my daughter felt comfortable there.

The new orthodontist is the biggest flashiest practice I've ever seen (we have no choice of where to go so can't change).  They terrified the life out of her when she went with the amount of people in the room etc. He referred her on to have teeth taken out by GA as he could see how distressed she was and knew she wouldn't cope with having them taken out by them.  We've just been to the dentist connected with the hospital and this has traumatised my daughter again.  We had to leave before I could sign any consent and discuss risks of a GA.

My daughter is adament that she does not want to have her teeth out.  I know this is her anxiety talking and I've left it for now.  I've promised her that nothing will be done without her agreement.  

The orthodontist has now called and asked we go back to see him to discuss.  Part of me believes she has the right to choose but the other part of me thinks that I am not doing my best by her.  The two lower teeth could stay however the two top teeth are actually behind her two front teeth which not only looks unsightly, could cause problems as she ages because its not possible to clean them as well as they should be.

My initial thoughts were that we delay again for another year.  She has had a very difficult year with my moving and a change of schools and her anxiety is at a peak.  I can't discuss with friends/family as they don't really understand how difficult being on the spectrum is.  Any thoughts?

Parents
  • It is a risk but do you think that being blunt with her regarding the risks of keeping teeth may be the best course of action.

    If she knows that the risk of keeping teeth will lead to more complications later on, she may see things more clearly.

    I would emphasis to her that you will do whatever you can to make the environment less daunting and discuss ways you can do this, but stress that it has to happen.

    My son needed an op recently, and was truly terrified, but knew he had no choice.  I made sure that the staff were fully briefed and make sure that staff knew not to rush him, and not to overwhelm him with their presence.  Also to be direct and honest with him. 

    Later on he said that he was glad for the honesty, as it meant he could still trust us.

    Don't be afraid of going to the clinic yourself and putting your son's needs on the table.  My experience is that doctors are grateful for any suggestions that make the process easier for all concerned.

Reply
  • It is a risk but do you think that being blunt with her regarding the risks of keeping teeth may be the best course of action.

    If she knows that the risk of keeping teeth will lead to more complications later on, she may see things more clearly.

    I would emphasis to her that you will do whatever you can to make the environment less daunting and discuss ways you can do this, but stress that it has to happen.

    My son needed an op recently, and was truly terrified, but knew he had no choice.  I made sure that the staff were fully briefed and make sure that staff knew not to rush him, and not to overwhelm him with their presence.  Also to be direct and honest with him. 

    Later on he said that he was glad for the honesty, as it meant he could still trust us.

    Don't be afraid of going to the clinic yourself and putting your son's needs on the table.  My experience is that doctors are grateful for any suggestions that make the process easier for all concerned.

Children
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