Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I have just joined the community as i feel like i have no one to talk to... so i'll start by saying Hi!
I have a daughter who is diagnosed ADHD and awaiting an ASD referral, all in hand and happy with help and support i receive from friends, family and professionals.
I also have a son who unfortunately, I am not getting the same response in support for. He is on the ASD waiting list (hopefully january time) He has been on a one plan since he started reception and school has many things in place to help him cope throughout the day, including ear defenders, social stories, feelings cards and quiet breaks.
I am always being told I am either being an over-baring mother, I'm mollycoddling, I'm too protective, I'm too over the top by even my closest friends and its breaking my heart. I know my son and I know whats not 'normal', yet I'm sitting her feeling like I am going crazy and no one listens to me. I just cant cope with the negativity anymore.
He lives talks and and acts in the land of nintendo, every task we do or walk we go on is a level on mario, our conversations are mario topic, we never really talk about anything else, no matter how hard I try to talk about other subjects, he ingores me and continues with his thoughts. He must always have my attention on him and his interests and cannot understand when I have other things to do or I am in the middle of a conversation.
I have been informed by professional workers that he has sensory processing disorder. Hes extremely sensitive to noise, taste, texture. He will vomit when over exposed to these things, for example, going to busy soft play centers will make him vomit. He can only eat certain foods without vomiting and has a very small food selection he feels safe with. I am always trying to encourage him to try new things even if it is just touching or smelling it. I'm not able to give him different brands because it will cause this to happen still.
He is selective mute, with final word disfluency, he really struggles to get his sentences out and causes a lot of frustration for him when people don't understand what hes saying. I am always told by everyone around me, there is nothing wrong with his speech and I'm over thinking it. which hurts because I see his pain and hurt from not being understood.
He doesn't really play, he has a select few toys he sticks to which involves organising them and will repeat the same games with them. He does not enjoy playing with other children. If a child tries to approach him to play at a park he will go mute and hide. There will be little to no communication.
I have so many things I could sit here and write but I feel like I would be here all night... so if you've read this, thank you... I guess I'm just hoping to be heard.
Hi and welcome.
I'm a bit confused as to why you are being given help and support for your daughter but not your son, and that it appears you are being told you are overbearing, mollycoddling and over protective with your son, but not your daughter? is it that they won't accept he is autistic because he doesn't have a "formal" diagnosis? The obsessive special interest, sensory issues, play patterns and selective muteness all point to ASD, so I don't understand why others can't see that! Hopefully it will change when he gets a diagnosis.
You say that he has things in place at school to help him get through the day, so the school must surely acknowledge that he has special needs? Can they help with getting a referral to a speech & language therapist?
Keep chatting to us here if it helps, and don't give up hope.
Hey pixie, I don't quite understand it myself but I'm so grateful for the responses here! I think what people are struggling with is autism is an umbrella word, so, with so many varying factors, it's easy for two people with autism to display completely different. I believe that if Asperger was still it's own diagnosis, my boy would be that, whereas my girl is not at all. they're so alike in such different ways so people do not see the connection.