Hello, I don't know if this is a question, sharing experience or howling into the void.
I have an 18 year old son who is diagnosed autistic. In general he has always been reasonably OK, going to standard schools and Colleges and holding down part-time jobs while a student - we've had issues with bullying but nothing particularly out of the ordinary.
Over the last couple of years he's fallen into a crowd around College and taken to drink and also drugs. He believes it's perfectly normal to go to Wetherspoons at 11.30 on a Tuesday morning, stay there until the evening and drinking 8 or 9 pints. On several occasions friends of his have called us and asked us to come and get him as he's pretty much unconscious. On occasion he has been abusive.
Latest episode was last night - went to a pub with a friend, friend had 1 pint, he had 6, came home and started cooking and vaping in the kitchen. We don't allow vaping in the house, I calmly told him he could cook, or could vape down the road but not both. He refused, became abusive, told us he could do what he wanted and say what he wanted. It got physical (just pushing and shoving) and ended with me chucking his dinner down the sink, and him going out and pulling a fence down on his way.
I've always said that I will never give up on him, that he makes stupid decisions because of his age and condition, but he's not a bad boy. But at some point there has to be a line; I don't have much leverage with him now, he has a job and doesn't need lifts to places etc. So I am wondering if we say now that there are rules of living in our house, I don't think they're particularly onerous but if you don't comply, you can't live here.
Any advice / sources of advice?
