So much anger for a kid

My 7, almost 8 year old boy is always so angry. 99% of the time I seem to be the trigger. It can be anything that annoys him. From having to walk a certain route home from school, telling him we can’t have chocolate for his breakfast or just asking him to do anything at all. He gets so angry so fast. Screaming, hitting, destroying everything and anything. His dad says I set him off because I don’t just give in to what he wants. I don’t give him extra demands just for the sake of it, I only ask him to clear his seat for dinner if it’s his mess for example. Or bring his washing down if he’s left it in the middle of his floor. He has brothers and sisters . I try to treat them all equal, I can’t give him sweets for breakfast for example, and treat the others different. The outbursts are everyday, multiple times a day. In school he apparently is on best behaviour, they have no complaints or worries. Soon as he’s out the doors though it’s just unbearable, literally until he gets in there the next morning. I don’t know how to help or stop this happening. He’ll scream at me in public, have fulL blown meltdowns and his latest is to now run away., which is genuinely terrifying.