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School refusal

NAS94764

Hi my 11yr old son ASD has always suffered social anxiety and gets anxious about going out. In the last year his anxiety about going to school has increased, he misses at least a day a week and arrives late the other days. His anxiety starts the night before by delaying bedtime and in the morning we are treading on egg shells and he delays everything about getting ready and sits rocking crying he just can't go to school. School have done lots to help and once he is there he is less anxious and gets on ok but it's the getting ready and going to school that his anxiety gets the better of him. We don't know what to do and how to treat him when home, we don't want it to seem more appealing being at home. In Sept he is off to high school and I have no idea how we will get him there. I don't want to home school as I think he will get to a stage that he wont leave the house. Any help advice would be welcomed. 

  • in reply to NAS94764
    NAS94764 said:
    I had completely not realised he his stimming.

    For autists, stimming if often used as a way of lowering the "load" on our minds - trying to lower our anxiety in many cases (it is subconcious normally).

    There is a good article on it here if you are interested:

    https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-stimming-in-autism-260034

    If you are a reader then the following book may give you some useful advice for the teenage years that are about to hit:

    The Loving Push - How Parents and Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults - Debra Moore, PhD, Temple Grandin, PhD (2016)
    ISBN 9781941765203

    The following may also be useful when he finds himself in high school with a host of new kids around him:

    Social Skills Groups for Children And Adolescents With Asperger's Syndrome - A Step-by-step Program - Kim Kiker Painter (2008)
    ISBN 1843108216

  • Thank you, I had completely not realised he his stimming. I really feel for him and its hard for people to understand he can't rather than he won't and feel very stressed that he moves to high school, as I know the more school he misses the harder it will be to get back to, especially at a new bigger school. Thank you for your advice.

  • NAS94764 said:
    We don't know what to do and how to treat him when home

    Have you tried a therapist with experience in dealing with these issues? They need to have a solid understanding of autism and child psychology to be of use here I think.

    My thoughts are that he is being overwhelmed by anxiety and this results in the stimming behaviour and worrying about the future so teaching him techniques to put things in context, rationalise and review that they were not as bad as he feared would be a big part of this.

    You could as the schools SENCO for local contacts or look online at the likes of:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling

    Use the filter button to add Autism and Child to filter the list and you may find some near you.