New area, newly diagnosed 4yr old son, new school nearly a disaster

Hi everyone,

I’m new here, and I have a newly diagnosed four year old son (Asperger’s Syndrome), and I’m also new(ish) to Fleet in North Hampshire, where things are going horribly at his new school. He is a brilliant, intelligent and very funny little boy, who I adore. We find ourselves a bit isolated. There are no support groups in our town and I don’t drive, so getting further afield during the week is difficult. If anyone has any tips for meeting up with other families with autistic children then I’d really appreciate it.

He finds his classroom overwhelming and hasn’t made any friends since he started in September, although he desperately wants to. He has enormous difficulty with sitting still, transitions, doing what the teachers want when they want. He throws things and shouts and is very anxious at school, where he’s learnt nothing, regressed socially, emotionally and academically. Yesterday, he got so frustrated he hit the teaching assistant (he has never hit me) and was made to sit in the corridor on his own for twenty minutes. This makes me so angry because he is not being given any help with his issues, just punishment when he can’t conform and loses control. At home he is much calmer and happier and loves to play and learn with me.

His teachers say that he has low self-esteem, which is heart-breaking because everyone in his family thought of him as outgoing and confident before he started school. We are trying to persuade the school to provide one to one help and we are about to apply for a statement. He only attends until midday and next month he is five and legally obliged to be in school full-time – a thought that keeps me awake at night. I expect there are many people out there who have gone through similar tough times.

Anyway, that pretty much sums up our situation. Hello to everyone: it is good to be here. Thanks for reading. X

Chloe  

Parents
  • Hi, I do feel for you both - you shdn't have to go thru this but it's all too common.  You're doing the right thing by getting a statement + wanting a 1-1 so keep pushing.  My son went to autism specific schools + is now an adult so I'm not current with all that goes on now.  My thoughts wd be to make sure his teaching assistant is well trained in autism - it will make all the difference.  Some people say they're trained but training can vary enormously, everything from "a talk" to a few wks of intensive training, inc on the job training.  That's something you shd bear in mind.  Lots of posts here on this subject so have a look around + check out the home page for advice.  There's also the ipsea site which might be worth a look.  Gd luck + keep fighting.Smile

Reply
  • Hi, I do feel for you both - you shdn't have to go thru this but it's all too common.  You're doing the right thing by getting a statement + wanting a 1-1 so keep pushing.  My son went to autism specific schools + is now an adult so I'm not current with all that goes on now.  My thoughts wd be to make sure his teaching assistant is well trained in autism - it will make all the difference.  Some people say they're trained but training can vary enormously, everything from "a talk" to a few wks of intensive training, inc on the job training.  That's something you shd bear in mind.  Lots of posts here on this subject so have a look around + check out the home page for advice.  There's also the ipsea site which might be worth a look.  Gd luck + keep fighting.Smile

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