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Feeling so low

Oatcakes

Had to listen to one of those 'your imagining there's a problem where theres not' conversations from my father today..I am ashamed to say it made me doubt what I was trying to achieve with DS, make me feel a bad parent and completely demoralised.

It's pathetic someone can make you feel this way when you know deep down you are trying your very best. After listening to how DS 'was always fine with' his Grandfather (who actually only sees DS about once per month for a couple of hours max), my parents left and my DS had a meltdown because he was so exhausted from the excitement, trip to the park, picnic etc etc...but he's fine, apparently..it's just me..

I know this isn't true as there are school issues too but since I am seeing DS's teacher on Friday I could have done with a bit of moral support from the family ..sigh.. they don't mean to be cruel but I feel flat tonight.

Ending on a plus note I got 2 books on ASD today and there were lots of helpful things in there and me and my partner were having plenty of 'lightbulb moments' reading it.

My partner particularly found the section about 'why speaking your mind when you are at a social gathering can be problematic for your NT partner' highly though provoking and amusing..which was nice to see him so relaxed about his differences..he feels it's fitting together the pieces more now..he even told his boss today.

I am so proud of sons and partner...he bought me a bunch of flowers yesterday..I nearly fainted.

J

x

Parents

  • Hi Angryswan

    Yes I know what you are talking about. My parents waver between accepting there are 'behaviour traits' and hinting at tougher discipline. I mentioned to them today that I thought they sometimes were grieving for the grandson they 'thought' they had and it struck a cord.

    O has fantastic qualities as a person and I do believe being dx'd would help him understand his differences better. Because he is back in school now his behaviour is becoming more and more problematic. I also found out CAMHS had not even started to process him onto their waiting list, so the school nurse stepped in and has made a direct referral to the ASD team..she can see where we are coming from and is working hard to help us get more answers.

    My partner is great in many many ways but because of his own traits he can be totally unaware of how his behaviour winds is son up... it's amusing as much as it is annoying..because the things he does would wind him up if he was on the recieving end..yet he happily bimbles in and sets my son off by making him jump or getting in to daft arguments over seemingly very trivial issues. They are like two peas in a pod..my partner took our sons to school the other day (a rare thing) and he commented on how awkward he felt..then he looked down and saw our son standing in exactly the same way, looking as awkward as himself with the same expression of bewilderment on his face. No matter how many times I explain to my partner how hard school is for O until that moment I don't think he could appreciate it.

    It did help me feel less alone and I really feel for you that you have these battles with your ex and have to deal with the fallout of it afterwards. I hope you have some resolution to your sons dx soon.

    Take care

    Oatie.

     

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  • Hi Angryswan

    Yes I know what you are talking about. My parents waver between accepting there are 'behaviour traits' and hinting at tougher discipline. I mentioned to them today that I thought they sometimes were grieving for the grandson they 'thought' they had and it struck a cord.

    O has fantastic qualities as a person and I do believe being dx'd would help him understand his differences better. Because he is back in school now his behaviour is becoming more and more problematic. I also found out CAMHS had not even started to process him onto their waiting list, so the school nurse stepped in and has made a direct referral to the ASD team..she can see where we are coming from and is working hard to help us get more answers.

    My partner is great in many many ways but because of his own traits he can be totally unaware of how his behaviour winds is son up... it's amusing as much as it is annoying..because the things he does would wind him up if he was on the recieving end..yet he happily bimbles in and sets my son off by making him jump or getting in to daft arguments over seemingly very trivial issues. They are like two peas in a pod..my partner took our sons to school the other day (a rare thing) and he commented on how awkward he felt..then he looked down and saw our son standing in exactly the same way, looking as awkward as himself with the same expression of bewilderment on his face. No matter how many times I explain to my partner how hard school is for O until that moment I don't think he could appreciate it.

    It did help me feel less alone and I really feel for you that you have these battles with your ex and have to deal with the fallout of it afterwards. I hope you have some resolution to your sons dx soon.

    Take care

    Oatie.

     

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