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Feeling so low

Oatcakes

Had to listen to one of those 'your imagining there's a problem where theres not' conversations from my father today..I am ashamed to say it made me doubt what I was trying to achieve with DS, make me feel a bad parent and completely demoralised.

It's pathetic someone can make you feel this way when you know deep down you are trying your very best. After listening to how DS 'was always fine with' his Grandfather (who actually only sees DS about once per month for a couple of hours max), my parents left and my DS had a meltdown because he was so exhausted from the excitement, trip to the park, picnic etc etc...but he's fine, apparently..it's just me..

I know this isn't true as there are school issues too but since I am seeing DS's teacher on Friday I could have done with a bit of moral support from the family ..sigh.. they don't mean to be cruel but I feel flat tonight.

Ending on a plus note I got 2 books on ASD today and there were lots of helpful things in there and me and my partner were having plenty of 'lightbulb moments' reading it.

My partner particularly found the section about 'why speaking your mind when you are at a social gathering can be problematic for your NT partner' highly though provoking and amusing..which was nice to see him so relaxed about his differences..he feels it's fitting together the pieces more now..he even told his boss today.

I am so proud of sons and partner...he bought me a bunch of flowers yesterday..I nearly fainted.

J

x

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  • I have the same trouble with the ex, and his parents. They seem to be having trouble accepting that our DS has social communication/interaction difficulties. The ex is reluctant to listen to my pleas for a regular visitation routine, and his parenting style does not include any methods one would use for a child with ASD. This often causes DS to get very distressed and comes home from a visit in a terrible state.

    My Mother at first said there was nothing wrong, until she accompanied us to the park and saw DS in action! Then, a friend of mine had her eyes opened, also at the park... I'm starting to think it would be better to take DS there when it's deserted! 

    The way people stare always gets to me. My friend got really cross about it and felt like saying something to them. I think it's simply a lack of understanding, and a little bit of fear, that makes them stare. Oh, and terribly insensitive and rude!

    I am fed up with having to explain, over and over again, why DS is different. Anyone who knows him well, knows his struggles. It's also so frustrating to still be waiting for a clear diagnosis, they just can't tick box number 6, and without it they want to do more tests, perhaps even a blood test. So, in the meantime, I feel like I'm in limbo, not really sure what is wrong, even though it seems pretty clear it's Aspergers Syndrome... I doubt DS would get that diagnosis anyway, since they are pulling away from it and choosing to use the term ASD. 

    I think it is wonderful that your partner is on your side. It is probably a massive relief for you. Your parents probably need time to accept things, it is very hard for some people to accept. Try not to let their opinions get to you because you know your child better than anybody.

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  • I have the same trouble with the ex, and his parents. They seem to be having trouble accepting that our DS has social communication/interaction difficulties. The ex is reluctant to listen to my pleas for a regular visitation routine, and his parenting style does not include any methods one would use for a child with ASD. This often causes DS to get very distressed and comes home from a visit in a terrible state.

    My Mother at first said there was nothing wrong, until she accompanied us to the park and saw DS in action! Then, a friend of mine had her eyes opened, also at the park... I'm starting to think it would be better to take DS there when it's deserted! 

    The way people stare always gets to me. My friend got really cross about it and felt like saying something to them. I think it's simply a lack of understanding, and a little bit of fear, that makes them stare. Oh, and terribly insensitive and rude!

    I am fed up with having to explain, over and over again, why DS is different. Anyone who knows him well, knows his struggles. It's also so frustrating to still be waiting for a clear diagnosis, they just can't tick box number 6, and without it they want to do more tests, perhaps even a blood test. So, in the meantime, I feel like I'm in limbo, not really sure what is wrong, even though it seems pretty clear it's Aspergers Syndrome... I doubt DS would get that diagnosis anyway, since they are pulling away from it and choosing to use the term ASD. 

    I think it is wonderful that your partner is on your side. It is probably a massive relief for you. Your parents probably need time to accept things, it is very hard for some people to accept. Try not to let their opinions get to you because you know your child better than anybody.

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