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Feeling so low

Oatcakes

Had to listen to one of those 'your imagining there's a problem where theres not' conversations from my father today..I am ashamed to say it made me doubt what I was trying to achieve with DS, make me feel a bad parent and completely demoralised.

It's pathetic someone can make you feel this way when you know deep down you are trying your very best. After listening to how DS 'was always fine with' his Grandfather (who actually only sees DS about once per month for a couple of hours max), my parents left and my DS had a meltdown because he was so exhausted from the excitement, trip to the park, picnic etc etc...but he's fine, apparently..it's just me..

I know this isn't true as there are school issues too but since I am seeing DS's teacher on Friday I could have done with a bit of moral support from the family ..sigh.. they don't mean to be cruel but I feel flat tonight.

Ending on a plus note I got 2 books on ASD today and there were lots of helpful things in there and me and my partner were having plenty of 'lightbulb moments' reading it.

My partner particularly found the section about 'why speaking your mind when you are at a social gathering can be problematic for your NT partner' highly though provoking and amusing..which was nice to see him so relaxed about his differences..he feels it's fitting together the pieces more now..he even told his boss today.

I am so proud of sons and partner...he bought me a bunch of flowers yesterday..I nearly fainted.

J

x

Parents

  • Aw thanks..I got accused of being over anxious when people wouldn't listen..then I pointed out I had twins and was only raising issues with one of them...you could see them stop and think at that one..but then swiftly move on.

    I miss judged something again with my son today..I knew he was getting close to losing it but I decided not to make him come in from playing outside with his brother and their friend...it all went pear shaped and O got sent home, head down and miserable from our neighbours because he had lashed out.

    Without diagnosis and wit O being bright it's hard to know when to say to other parents..look he needs to come in now because...he may implode??? I mean how do I explain it? Now I feel I let him down and he's been seen in a bad light by his peer and neighbour.

    I have some strategies.. like when I need everyone in the village to know something I tell the busy body..so they will tell everyone else and save me the bother. But as O isn't dx yet ...and we could be wrong about what's going on...I am hesitant to commit to saying anything yet.

    So we continue to bimble along and wait...my partner saw a CPN today who sounded great. She has said there is no need to see her again as she too feels that my partner is showing ASD traits. She is going to push for assessment and get back to him in a couple of weeks with some guidance as to what's happening after she's spoken to a consultant.

    So not all bad today but I feel I didn't protect O from a hurtful situation. He now thinks he can never play with this friend again..hopefully he will see him knocking at our door again soon.

    ..feels like a knife through your heart when these things happen..I am reliably informed by a mum with a 15yr old boy with ASD that it is water off a duck's back after a while.

    Oatie

     

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  • Aw thanks..I got accused of being over anxious when people wouldn't listen..then I pointed out I had twins and was only raising issues with one of them...you could see them stop and think at that one..but then swiftly move on.

    I miss judged something again with my son today..I knew he was getting close to losing it but I decided not to make him come in from playing outside with his brother and their friend...it all went pear shaped and O got sent home, head down and miserable from our neighbours because he had lashed out.

    Without diagnosis and wit O being bright it's hard to know when to say to other parents..look he needs to come in now because...he may implode??? I mean how do I explain it? Now I feel I let him down and he's been seen in a bad light by his peer and neighbour.

    I have some strategies.. like when I need everyone in the village to know something I tell the busy body..so they will tell everyone else and save me the bother. But as O isn't dx yet ...and we could be wrong about what's going on...I am hesitant to commit to saying anything yet.

    So we continue to bimble along and wait...my partner saw a CPN today who sounded great. She has said there is no need to see her again as she too feels that my partner is showing ASD traits. She is going to push for assessment and get back to him in a couple of weeks with some guidance as to what's happening after she's spoken to a consultant.

    So not all bad today but I feel I didn't protect O from a hurtful situation. He now thinks he can never play with this friend again..hopefully he will see him knocking at our door again soon.

    ..feels like a knife through your heart when these things happen..I am reliably informed by a mum with a 15yr old boy with ASD that it is water off a duck's back after a while.

    Oatie

     

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