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Obsession with teacher and how to redirect this

ParentingAutism

I believe my daughter has an obsession with one of her teachers. I'm not too sure if it is quite an obsession or what it is but we've been in this position with a different teacher. It might just be she feels safe with this teacher and enjoys the company or if it's something more. 

Both these teachers live close to us and she knows where they live because we constantly drive past their houses to get to where we need to be. Also both these teachers are female. 

She follows this teacher quite regularly to and from school because she likes to leave early so she can get parked in the car park and also so she can chill without being stressed and worried about traffic, parking and being late. At home she also talks non-stop about her. 

In school, she really enjoys spending time with her teacher, and will struggle to complete work and just want to chit chat about her teacher's family, dogs, traffic, and what's on her mind especially. She also engages with a lot more SIB with this teacher, I'm not sure if it's because of the lesson, work, attention, environment, feelings or what not. I do know that she has ICT, Art and Self-Study lessons both of which she does not enjoy and can be quite unstructured. She can also be quite 'physical' with this teacher, shoving her in a playful way, playing with her hair, squeezing the teachers hand when she wants to hurt herself (this is part of her behaviour plan) also therapeutic 'hugs' with this teacher too. 

I try to ignore her and limit conversation, also completely changing the subject and interrupting her (to a point) when she talks non-stop about her teacher hoping it will bore her. 

I may be over reacting a bit and it could be nothing but what are your views on this? Could it just be simple or is it something more complex? 

  • in reply to Iain

    Ha, our sessions all being online does prevent that. Smiley

  • in reply to HMO
    HMO said:
    I'm the same with my therapist.

    I hope you are not following your therapist to and from work - that would be a bit much Wink

  • It seems like she's latched onto her teachers as a safety thing. 

    It's by no means the same thing but I'm the same with my therapist. The first sign (in a long time) of a safe space and I've just hung onto it, it has become my whole thing.

    Have you spoken to her about why she feels this way? What she likes about her teacher specifically? I don't wish to suggest it might be unmet needs or whatever but I think it might help to have that conversation.

  • I would suggest speaking to the teachers and give them a heads up about your daughters obsession with them.

    This will alert them that you know there is potential to something developing and that they are under scrutiny (normally enough to break any inappropriate ideas that may be forming) and will alert them to start distancing themselves from your daughter to let her down gently.

    If you can do it through the school then this alerts the head and any HR dept that will ensure this gets the attention it deserves.

    Your daughter will probably be devestated and may hate you for it for a while if she finds out, so be prepared. Consider how you may respond the the "but why?" responses that will be forthcoming.

    I would maybe ask the school for advice on dealing with the situation as well as this isn't as as rare as you may think.