Published on 12, July, 2020
My partners child has begun to struggle with going outside. She struggles with the noise of wind and gets upsets. Sometimes they are fine with it and other days they really struggle. I really want to be able to help and know the best way to handle the situation. I struggle to find help as I understand the spectrum is so so big. I guess in old terms they would be classed as high functioning. My other worry is that now she has the diagnosis she isn’t being encouraged to overcome the struggle where possible. I’m worried it will lead to a genuine fear of the outside that will only get worse. She is already starting to miss out on activities I know she would love and would love to be able to support both her and my partner in this. I am trying to do research and help as much as I can. any advice would be gratefully appreciated.
Why not ask what she needs and would like, make some suggestions of things like ear muffs, a head scarf etc and then walk away, don't put any pressure on her and talk to ther like she's an adult, young children appreciate it and can understand, it helps them feel they have agency. If you present a list of things, for her to choose from, she may feel she has to pick one and will clam up and say no and dig her heels in. Giving a child a sense of agency is so important not just for ND's for for all children, to often instead of feeling guided and protected through the path of life a child can feel as though they're on an enforced route march with an army parade ground sargent yelling intructions, that's not something we want to instill in anyones psyche.
Thank you for commenting. I do try and ask her what would work but in the moment she can be upset and before hand she won’t realise the full effect it will have on her. I like having lots of the options for her then hopefully she can pick the right one for that day.
i think these things are about how you say something as much as what you're saying. You don't say how old your stepdaughter is, it's a bit difficult to know what to suggest without the age of the person concerned.