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New and confused - pre-school and statementing

OneBlackCat

Hi all,

My daughter (3.5) has been recently diagnosed with childhood autism. 

The assessment/diagnosis report says that she urgently need placement in a specialist setting for children with autism.

At the time of diagnosis we already had a place booked in a mainstream pre-school and it was too late to find a place in a specialised one.

So, we decided to give the mainstream pre-school a try and meanwhile look for a place for her to go next.

When I spoke to SENCO and other staff at the pre-school she's due to start in September, they can't really provide her any special environment or treatment unless she's got a statement.

And, according to them, the only sure way to get a statement is to start in mainstream pre-school and collect as much evidence as possible that it's not the right place for her.

She's bright and even got a good command of language (though not English and it's more thanks to her outstanding memory than to her really understanding all of it), but she's very fearful and has got a severe separation anxiety - she won't let me leave her with anyone else and even won't let me leave the room without her at home.

At the pre-school they said they understood it but suggested that i nevertheless tried leaving her for 5 minutes on her third day or so there. When I explained that it's going to be a huge stress for her, because i'm the only person she feels safe with, so she may only let me leave when there's anyone else there she builds a relationship of trust with (which is highly unlikely to happen in just three days). And their answer was - well, the more evidence we have that she can't cope the better, although you can reject your place in our school now, if you want.

But it's just cruel to hurt her so! And I can't be betraying her trust in me like that. It won't be a big exaggeration to say that my trust is the only thing that keeps her connected with the outer world. When she was smaller and not diagnosed, I didn't quite understand how to build connection with her, and followed well-meaning advice of having to be in charge, etc. And at that time she was really withdrawn, which was scary. Now she's not withdrawn, she trusts me, and I just can't ruin it all for the sake of getting a statement.

But without a statement she can't get any special education, as far as I understand.

So, has anyone got any advice?

Is there another way of getting a statement, without intentionally hurting her to get evidence of her not being able to cope in a mainstream pre-school?

Are there any specialised nurseries/schools that will take her without a statement?

Any private specialised nurseries/schools (although we are not likely to be able to pay for that, but still)?

Any other advice?

Thank you in advance for your help.

Parents

  • Hi One Black Cat

    Thanks for the update - was wondering how things were going for you. I'm sorry things still seem a bit up in the air for you and your daughter but take some encouragement - it CAN be done.

    To update you on my son: I went to the meeting (mentioned in my last post) and astonishingly no one from the LEA turned up. However this turned out to be a blessing in disguise as the meeting turned out to be really productive without all the attendant bureaucratic ramblings. The upshot was that two (of the three) members of the LEAPS (Local Early Action Plus Support) funding panel were there and it's apparently their responsibility to recommend children for placement in a special school or for additional funding to cover until the full statement is in place. I told them I wanted my son in a special school assessment unit and that he would under no circumstances attend a mainstream school. They offered to help me fill in the form to include all the "magic" phrases that would tick all the boxes and get what I wanted. We filled it in, they passed it at the next panel meeting and within 3 days the LEA had phoned me to tell me that my son had a place at the school I wanted. He started three weeks ago and loves it. The staff know exactly what they're doing and his communication and language has noticibly improved already. He gets escorted transport, there and back, paid for by the LEA and has been there half day, five days a week without a hitch from day one.

    I really can't stress enough that you need to bypass the school in this. Not the fault of the school, but it's LEA policy to ignore and fob them off. You have the right to ask for a assessment of SEN to be done and they have to respond. As your daughter has a diagnosis they cannot tell you she doesn't need one (this doesn't mean they won't say that, it just means you have the right to threaten them with legal action if they do). If you do request one I reccommend stressing how disruptive her behaviour is to the other pupils (whether it is or isn't) as this is one of the "magic" phrases outlined in the SEN code of practice. If you're not feeling up to taking on the LEA direct I think it might be a good idea to contact your local Portage service (http://www.portage.org.uk/). As your daughter is in nursery they may decide she doesn't qualify - depends on the individual service - but really what you're after here is a way in to your local special needs services and the people involved (the head of my LEAPS panel is also manager of the Portage service). Even if they can't offer you Portage services they're likely to be helpful about pointing you in the right direction.

    And I do understand how hard it is - I think my son gets his ASD from my side of the family, I've always hated phoning people, talking to people etc, it's a major stress but I promise you, the relief I feel now that my son is settled and doing so well was worth every second of it. If it helps, use my catchphrase "That's not going to happen", that I had for dealing with other people trying to tell me what they were planning for my boy. It took their options away and it really did work.

    Absolutely the best of luck to you and your daughter. Take heart and kick some butt!

    Bod

     

Reply

  • Hi One Black Cat

    Thanks for the update - was wondering how things were going for you. I'm sorry things still seem a bit up in the air for you and your daughter but take some encouragement - it CAN be done.

    To update you on my son: I went to the meeting (mentioned in my last post) and astonishingly no one from the LEA turned up. However this turned out to be a blessing in disguise as the meeting turned out to be really productive without all the attendant bureaucratic ramblings. The upshot was that two (of the three) members of the LEAPS (Local Early Action Plus Support) funding panel were there and it's apparently their responsibility to recommend children for placement in a special school or for additional funding to cover until the full statement is in place. I told them I wanted my son in a special school assessment unit and that he would under no circumstances attend a mainstream school. They offered to help me fill in the form to include all the "magic" phrases that would tick all the boxes and get what I wanted. We filled it in, they passed it at the next panel meeting and within 3 days the LEA had phoned me to tell me that my son had a place at the school I wanted. He started three weeks ago and loves it. The staff know exactly what they're doing and his communication and language has noticibly improved already. He gets escorted transport, there and back, paid for by the LEA and has been there half day, five days a week without a hitch from day one.

    I really can't stress enough that you need to bypass the school in this. Not the fault of the school, but it's LEA policy to ignore and fob them off. You have the right to ask for a assessment of SEN to be done and they have to respond. As your daughter has a diagnosis they cannot tell you she doesn't need one (this doesn't mean they won't say that, it just means you have the right to threaten them with legal action if they do). If you do request one I reccommend stressing how disruptive her behaviour is to the other pupils (whether it is or isn't) as this is one of the "magic" phrases outlined in the SEN code of practice. If you're not feeling up to taking on the LEA direct I think it might be a good idea to contact your local Portage service (http://www.portage.org.uk/). As your daughter is in nursery they may decide she doesn't qualify - depends on the individual service - but really what you're after here is a way in to your local special needs services and the people involved (the head of my LEAPS panel is also manager of the Portage service). Even if they can't offer you Portage services they're likely to be helpful about pointing you in the right direction.

    And I do understand how hard it is - I think my son gets his ASD from my side of the family, I've always hated phoning people, talking to people etc, it's a major stress but I promise you, the relief I feel now that my son is settled and doing so well was worth every second of it. If it helps, use my catchphrase "That's not going to happen", that I had for dealing with other people trying to tell me what they were planning for my boy. It took their options away and it really did work.

    Absolutely the best of luck to you and your daughter. Take heart and kick some butt!

    Bod

     

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