Hi all,
My daughter (3.5) has been recently diagnosed with childhood autism.
The assessment/diagnosis report says that she urgently need placement in a specialist setting for children with autism.
At the time of diagnosis we already had a place booked in a mainstream pre-school and it was too late to find a place in a specialised one.
So, we decided to give the mainstream pre-school a try and meanwhile look for a place for her to go next.
When I spoke to SENCO and other staff at the pre-school she's due to start in September, they can't really provide her any special environment or treatment unless she's got a statement.
And, according to them, the only sure way to get a statement is to start in mainstream pre-school and collect as much evidence as possible that it's not the right place for her.
She's bright and even got a good command of language (though not English and it's more thanks to her outstanding memory than to her really understanding all of it), but she's very fearful and has got a severe separation anxiety - she won't let me leave her with anyone else and even won't let me leave the room without her at home.
At the pre-school they said they understood it but suggested that i nevertheless tried leaving her for 5 minutes on her third day or so there. When I explained that it's going to be a huge stress for her, because i'm the only person she feels safe with, so she may only let me leave when there's anyone else there she builds a relationship of trust with (which is highly unlikely to happen in just three days). And their answer was - well, the more evidence we have that she can't cope the better, although you can reject your place in our school now, if you want.
But it's just cruel to hurt her so! And I can't be betraying her trust in me like that. It won't be a big exaggeration to say that my trust is the only thing that keeps her connected with the outer world. When she was smaller and not diagnosed, I didn't quite understand how to build connection with her, and followed well-meaning advice of having to be in charge, etc. And at that time she was really withdrawn, which was scary. Now she's not withdrawn, she trusts me, and I just can't ruin it all for the sake of getting a statement.
But without a statement she can't get any special education, as far as I understand.
So, has anyone got any advice?
Is there another way of getting a statement, without intentionally hurting her to get evidence of her not being able to cope in a mainstream pre-school?
Are there any specialised nurseries/schools that will take her without a statement?
Any private specialised nurseries/schools (although we are not likely to be able to pay for that, but still)?
Any other advice?
Thank you in advance for your help.
