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What Can I Do?

scooby11

Is anyone in the same situation as myself and my husband?

I have two sons one aged 21 the other who has Aspergers is 20. My worry is what happens when my husband and I have died?

My sons live at home. In a 'normal' (whatever that is) situation most children have left the nest either through marriage or independence. When the parents die it's just a case of selling the house and splitting the proceeds. I can see my eldest either living with someone or married. But this would not happen with the youngest. So what happens? People, who don't have an autisic son, have suggested getting him sheltered housing now. He wouldn't understand why I've made him move when his brother is still at home. He cannot deal with people, his communication skills are non existant. Any suggestions? 

Parents

  • Hi,

    same situation for me, apart from I only have one son, he is Aspergers and I am a single parent. It can be a difficult & painful thing to talk about, but it seems best to start talking sooner, rather than after a crisis. I found it helped to talk about the idea of myself getting ill or having to go into a care home to start with, then got on to the topic of whether my son would be prepared to look after me if I become frail.....his answer being no, he wouldn't.

    As others have said, talking to Social Work & asking for an assessment is the first step, as housing applications and funding for support will be handled by them. They ought to have info about what's available in your area.

     

Reply

  • Hi,

    same situation for me, apart from I only have one son, he is Aspergers and I am a single parent. It can be a difficult & painful thing to talk about, but it seems best to start talking sooner, rather than after a crisis. I found it helped to talk about the idea of myself getting ill or having to go into a care home to start with, then got on to the topic of whether my son would be prepared to look after me if I become frail.....his answer being no, he wouldn't.

    As others have said, talking to Social Work & asking for an assessment is the first step, as housing applications and funding for support will be handled by them. They ought to have info about what's available in your area.

     

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