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parent going back to work after a two week holiday

nikki001

Hello,

I'm a Mum of two girls, my eldest (4 years old) has been diagnosed with ASD. My Husband has just returned to work yesterday after a two week break for Christmas and we had a terrible day. She was moody and tearful all day long, she wet herself (which she has not done for a while). She also had a horrible night, waking and crying with nightmares about her Dad going back to work.

 She knows that he works in schools sometimes and she had a number of traumatic experiences when she started nursery when she was three (which I was unaware of until I removed her). I removed her after two and a half months because of lack of help from the nursery (they refused to get any extra help for her even though the head of the nursery admitted that they could not cope with her).

 She told me this morning she had a nightmare that her nursery assistant did something horrible to her Dad, she would not say what and I didn't pressure her to tell me.

Does any one have any advise after being in a similar situation?

We try to explain that dreams are just things that your worrying about before sleep and they come to you as dreams that can be odd and sometime scarry. She did say she felt better after talking about the dream a little and she seems a little happier today.

Parents

  • Hi

    Yes you should complain - go straight to the committee and copy the local gov. team responsible for overseeing nursery's in to the letter.

    sounds very much like this member of staff is untrained and ill advised as to how best to deal with children with sensory processing disorder - she could do, as she has to your daughter, some long term damage and this should be stopped asap! 

    My son also has troubling dreams, as an AS the real part of the dream, and it is real when we dream as far as our brains are concerned - is so much more "strong" and its not always possible to shrug it off as NT's can. I have explained this to my son, and although he still has bad dreams he has some understanding of the science and reasoning behind dreams and so is not so trioubled for so long. 

    If i were you - preparation for any change - be that coming in from outside play, turning off the TV or going back to work like daddy has to - can be prepared for with story's and pictures fro the bigger stuff  - we use sand timers and they work well for simpler things like games, or time to leave. she may be upset that daddy has to go back to work - and thats ok, of course she wants to spend more time with him - acknowledge that, ask her what she is upset about, repeat it back to her so that she feels totally understood, and then explain that it is something that all daddies do and how lucky she is to have a daddy that loves to work so that he can earn money to care for you all and remind her of the weekends, other holidays and of course, home time :-) perhaps he and she can have a special book shelf with stories that only they share, she could read them when she is missing him - just a thought. I am a big believer in allowing our children full and total dependance and then they will step happily into true independance. :-) 

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  • Hi

    Yes you should complain - go straight to the committee and copy the local gov. team responsible for overseeing nursery's in to the letter.

    sounds very much like this member of staff is untrained and ill advised as to how best to deal with children with sensory processing disorder - she could do, as she has to your daughter, some long term damage and this should be stopped asap! 

    My son also has troubling dreams, as an AS the real part of the dream, and it is real when we dream as far as our brains are concerned - is so much more "strong" and its not always possible to shrug it off as NT's can. I have explained this to my son, and although he still has bad dreams he has some understanding of the science and reasoning behind dreams and so is not so trioubled for so long. 

    If i were you - preparation for any change - be that coming in from outside play, turning off the TV or going back to work like daddy has to - can be prepared for with story's and pictures fro the bigger stuff  - we use sand timers and they work well for simpler things like games, or time to leave. she may be upset that daddy has to go back to work - and thats ok, of course she wants to spend more time with him - acknowledge that, ask her what she is upset about, repeat it back to her so that she feels totally understood, and then explain that it is something that all daddies do and how lucky she is to have a daddy that loves to work so that he can earn money to care for you all and remind her of the weekends, other holidays and of course, home time :-) perhaps he and she can have a special book shelf with stories that only they share, she could read them when she is missing him - just a thought. I am a big believer in allowing our children full and total dependance and then they will step happily into true independance. :-) 

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