how to approach first assessment

While it's being considered a 'disorder' it's really just a 'difference' and hopefully we'll see this change in the near future. Autism Spectrum Difference. And while we don't want to be this unique or this different, we do live in a society that disables us simply by a lack of awareness and being a mismatch for what is considered Typical.

What we need is help managing Expectations, Navigation Tools and help asserting our Agency/being or being afforded the freedom to exit a situation when we feel violated. Managing emotions is an odd thing for us, many also have Alexithymia - a difficulty understanding our feelings and filtering how they're expressed. If I look back at my childhood, I can quite easily summarise all my feelings into 3 Basic Categories: Frustration, a sense of Injustice or Contentment. Never happy or sad, which are puzzling words and a mesh of feelings. How these are emoted are the different thing. 

What he'll most likely need is Power Language to assert personal agency in a situation he's misunderstood or even when there is a great deal of misperception on both sides. For instance, when given only bits or pieces of a whole in a class, rather than Gestalt Learning, allowed to see the Whole, how it Functions and then breaking it down. He needs to be able to say "help me understand everything". This is not unreasonable, but the education system has changed and many teachers aren't trained to teach both styles of learning.

He'll need Navigation Tools for social situations. Often our perception, understanding and even Motives are entirely different than our allistic (non-autistic) peers. But to such a degree that it's incomprehensible.

Another thing to recognise is that Everyone non-autistic is typically given power language and navigation tools, just not by their GP. He may want to know that being taken to the 'medicine sage' of the tribe to be given the secret maps to each level, is just another way way to access the codes for winning. - I have a son, and for him it's been important to navigate his world with words that suggest Commandeering or some kind of Winning. The struggle for 'power' in a competitive society regardless of whether kids can articulate what's happening around them is something they can 'sense' but not make sense of. I also find it useful to use fantasy gaming language! This person will provide Power Up tools to help you on your quest

But for most, these 'codes' are provided indirectly through language, through syntax and all kinds of linguistics. And we simply don't pick up these Neuro-Normative  assignments of social cues, social symbols, and other social things which give others the ability to intuit their surroundings and navigate life in a way that is much more 'fluid' than what we're afforded. There' s a theory here that we might be better wired for right brain thinking than left.

And lastly, why I'd focus on these and not 'managing emotions' is that without knowing, Females can be socialised to focus on emotions first, while Males can be socialised to hide them and not talk about them - mind, there's pushback here. While Autistics might not pick up on these socialisations, and also find both rather strange either way. Emotions are secondary. Feelings are a result or summary of an internal response to a thing happening plus our belief or perspective on that thing. Thus why one person will be motivated and inspired by someone yelling at them while another intimidated or saddened. Some kids are taught to believe that sort of passion is involved because they care, others perceive the yelling as abusive because of their exposure. Either way the feeling and the expression is second.

When I know what to expect and have tools to work around these expectations, I might not have a feeling or be impacted about a thing either way. Maybe a judgement or appreciation or not even notice. :) 

Oh - I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Act like it's perfectly normal and a sort of 'rite of passage'. 

While it's being considered a 'disorder' it's really just a 'difference' and hopefully we'll see this change in the near future. Autism Spectrum Difference. And while we don't want to be this unique or this different, we do live in a society that disables us simply by a lack of awareness and being a mismatch for what is considered Typical.

What we need is help managing Expectations, Navigation Tools and help asserting our Agency/being or being afforded the freedom to exit a situation when we feel violated. Managing emotions is an odd thing for us, many also have Alexithymia - a difficulty understanding our feelings and filtering how they're expressed. If I look back at my childhood, I can quite easily summarise all my feelings into 3 Basic Categories: Frustration, a sense of Injustice or Contentment. Never happy or sad, which are puzzling words and a mesh of feelings. How these are emoted are the different thing. 

What he'll most likely need is Power Language to assert personal agency in a situation he's misunderstood or even when there is a great deal of misperception on both sides. For instance, when given only bits or pieces of a whole in a class, rather than Gestalt Learning, allowed to see the Whole, how it Functions and then breaking it down. He needs to be able to say "help me understand everything". This is not unreasonable, but the education system has changed and many teachers aren't trained to teach both styles of learning.

He'll need Navigation Tools for social situations. Often our perception, understanding and even Motives are entirely different than our allistic (non-autistic) peers. But to such a degree that it's incomprehensible.

Another thing to recognise is that Everyone non-autistic is typically given power language and navigation tools, just not by their GP. He may want to know that being taken to the 'medicine sage' of the tribe to be given the secret maps to each level, is just another way way to access the codes for winning. - I have a son, and for him it's been important to navigate his world with words that suggest Commandeering or some kind of Winning. The struggle for 'power' in a competitive society regardless of whether kids can articulate what's happening around them is something they can 'sense' but not make sense of. I also find it useful to use fantasy gaming language! This person will provide Power Up tools to help you on your quest 

But for most, these 'codes' are provided indirectly through language, through syntax and all kinds of linguistics. And we simply don't pick up these Neuro-Normative  assignments of social cues, social symbols, and other social things which give others the ability to intuit their surroundings and navigate life in a way that is much more 'fluid' than what we're afforded. There' s a theory here that we might be better wired for right brain thinking than left.

And lastly, why I'd focus on these and not 'managing emotions' is that without knowing, Females can be socialised to focus on emotions first, while Males can be socialised to hide them and not talk about them - mind, there's pushback here. While Autistics might not pick up on these socialisations, and also find both rather strange either way. Emotions are secondary. Feelings are a result or summary of an internal response to a thing happening plus our belief or perspective on that thing. Thus why one person will be motivated and inspired by someone yelling at them while another intimidated or saddened. Some kids are taught to believe that sort of passion is involved because they care, others perceive the yelling as abusive because of their exposure. Either way the feeling and the expression is second.

When I know what to expect and have tools to work around these expectations, I might not have a feeling or be impacted about a thing either way. Maybe a judgement or appreciation or not even notice. :) 

Oh - I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Act like it's perfectly normal and a sort of 'rite of passage'.