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14 year old daughter refusing to engage with ASD assessment

Elaine

After many years, her assessment dates have finally come through and she is refusing to go through with it. Her school attendance is very poor and she has extreme OCD and very restricted eating. I'm terrified about her future without the back up of a diagnosis. Her father is undiagnosed and has been unable to work for 25 years and I see a similar future for her. Has anyone else been in the same situation and found something that worked? Thank you.

  • That sounds difficult. 

    It's such a long wait, too. It's possible she just refuses and then around 20 regrets it, books again. 

    We mature much slower than our peers. I must be about 10 years behind at times but now nearly 50, am interested in so many things I just won't be able to read and learn about in a lifetime. But 14 I felt somewhat ghostly, foggy. I was accident prone and later in life discovered a multi helped. I had a ton of unidentified gut issues which almost killed me. I didn't like milk or ice cream and when young, couldn't tell you why (later it was discovered gluten was interfering with digestion). I've spent decades working out dietary issues and restrictions and a regiment which is safe. I've discovered a few botanical groups to stay away from and most of these used to be considered animal fodder: Brassicas, Beans/Legumes, and most Grains. The problem is Rapeseed is a brassica and in nearly everything, as is glucose syrup. Before I worked this out, I wouldn't have been able to tell you why I just needed to not eat for a few days.

    Often, hyper-vigilance can be misdirected when young. We don't have the understanding of the science behind things. We don't understand the psychology of others, the socio-political atmosphere, the philosophies and metaphysics. Social bias and affiliation are just as nebulous as quarks and the four forces of physics.  We can sense things but don't understand why or how. We won't be able to tell you what frequencies are hurting us and where they're coming from (electrical hums are the worst!). The world is simply a frustration of chaos - all of it overwhelming at once. So We look for grounding sources and sometimes in anything that makes sense to us in the moment. However, Encyclopaedias can be helpful- they can be a gateway to wanting to learn about everything else.