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need help with twin brother

emmyjmac95

Hi,

my twin brother liam who is 22 with aspergers is living with my dad at the moment and says he wants to get his own place. my dad is alcohol dependant and the house is in bad condition. my dad is very defensive when i tell him about his house says i am judging him. i am very concerned for my brothers well being! i live 6 hours away from him and my dad. my dad says he is doing all he can for liam and that social service wont give liam a flat of his own. i would like some advice on what is the right thing to do. my dad is forever making me feel depressed with how hard it is coping with liam but he never wants to do much about it!! my mum is now involved and wants my brother to move back home so she can try help him. my dad is very upset about this. 

please give me some advice!

thanks, Emma.

  • PS is there any chance your dad is on the autistic spectrum?  Autism is largely genetic and people on the spectrum have a higher rate of alcoholism than the general population I believe.  He could be hiding behind drink because he finds things so difficult, and as your mum isn't with him any more, if he had autistic traits this could be why things didn't work out as there is around an 80% divorce rate with one partner being autistic.

  • Let your dad be upset and let your brother get to live in a good environment with your mum.  Your dad needs to seek his own help, he will destroy your brother's life if he stays there.  Your dad must recognise his own situation which maybe he will do once your brother moves out, at the moment, your brother is company and a distraction for him, with that removed he will have to face things.  The move will be better for both of them.

    It's appalling that social services have done nothing.  Your dad can seek an assessment of his own need from them.  Social services won't proactively tell you anything, they ignore what's in front of them and wait for people to ask themselves which most don't because they don't know their rights.