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Independent living for son with Aspergers

Toffee

Hello,

my son is 20, has Asperger's and presently lives with me. He is an only child, and I am a single parent, his father being absent some years.

Son is at the moment unemployed and not in education. After leaving school he attended a local college course for students with additional needs, but after 18 months decided the other students were too noisy. He also felt the same about an AS social group. Supported employment too seems thin on the ground, having tried talking to the local Disability Advisor at the Jobcentre. He does go out with a support worker once a week, and has regular meetings with a social worker.

 

He is very lonely and isolated, despite being a young lad with strong interests in reading and current affairs. Also, as it has been the two of us for the past ten years, he is becoming more and more reliant upon me for company and support. Although he himself does not like to go out much, he becomes stressed if I am out - even to visit a neighbour - and will phone my mobile repeatedly.

What worries me is what happens if I become ill or die? (I'm only 50, but who knows?!)He is able to shop, use a microwave, use the washing machine, but I fear that he would become even more isolated and depressed.

We have talked about this together, and my son thinks it might be good to start looking at options for independent living sooner rather than later. He would prefer to live with other people rather than alone with carers visiting.

Does anyone have any similar experience? We were wondering about the Camphill Communities, as there as several in Scotland where we live, and he is used to country living and would like to keep a cat or dog.

We would really value any experiences anyone would share,

thanks! :)

 

 

 

 

Parents

  • Hi - sounds like things are difficult at home.  CAB may be a good place to start, as well as getting info from this site via the home pg, email etc.  I'm no expert on the mental capacity act but are you sure he's been assessed accurately?  It's also going to be really difficult if he doesn't want to go so I suppose you'll have to get him on-board with the idea of having his own place.  I do think you need to keep hassling your adult social services dept, however disappointed you are with them, purely because they may be able to help, however reluctant they may seem.  For example, if things are breaking down at home then they may have to step in?  So I think you're right to get all the info you can because that will then, hopefully, give you and your son some options for the future.  It is important that if he moves that wherever he goes should be suitable for him or it could make things very difficult for him and your family.

Reply

  • Hi - sounds like things are difficult at home.  CAB may be a good place to start, as well as getting info from this site via the home pg, email etc.  I'm no expert on the mental capacity act but are you sure he's been assessed accurately?  It's also going to be really difficult if he doesn't want to go so I suppose you'll have to get him on-board with the idea of having his own place.  I do think you need to keep hassling your adult social services dept, however disappointed you are with them, purely because they may be able to help, however reluctant they may seem.  For example, if things are breaking down at home then they may have to step in?  So I think you're right to get all the info you can because that will then, hopefully, give you and your son some options for the future.  It is important that if he moves that wherever he goes should be suitable for him or it could make things very difficult for him and your family.

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