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Independent living for son with Aspergers

Toffee

Hello,

my son is 20, has Asperger's and presently lives with me. He is an only child, and I am a single parent, his father being absent some years.

Son is at the moment unemployed and not in education. After leaving school he attended a local college course for students with additional needs, but after 18 months decided the other students were too noisy. He also felt the same about an AS social group. Supported employment too seems thin on the ground, having tried talking to the local Disability Advisor at the Jobcentre. He does go out with a support worker once a week, and has regular meetings with a social worker.

 

He is very lonely and isolated, despite being a young lad with strong interests in reading and current affairs. Also, as it has been the two of us for the past ten years, he is becoming more and more reliant upon me for company and support. Although he himself does not like to go out much, he becomes stressed if I am out - even to visit a neighbour - and will phone my mobile repeatedly.

What worries me is what happens if I become ill or die? (I'm only 50, but who knows?!)He is able to shop, use a microwave, use the washing machine, but I fear that he would become even more isolated and depressed.

We have talked about this together, and my son thinks it might be good to start looking at options for independent living sooner rather than later. He would prefer to live with other people rather than alone with carers visiting.

Does anyone have any similar experience? We were wondering about the Camphill Communities, as there as several in Scotland where we live, and he is used to country living and would like to keep a cat or dog.

We would really value any experiences anyone would share,

thanks! :)

 

 

 

 

Parents

  • It is so sad that this sort of thing keeps cropping up. If you are deemed to be able to cope and not need support, there is a massive step down between supported and unsupported. This makes transition from school age to adult all the harder.

    Added to which I worry that NAS, for all the campaigning, still thinks in terms of those needing support as adults as being the issue. There is also an opinion out there that if you can manage you don't really have autism.

    The situation is now made worse by the Welfare Reforms, which expect even supported people on the spectrum to find work and is cutting back on DLA in the move towards PIP.

    Look on the Community page of the NAS website for local services, bottom right hand corner. Its a fiddle as many search word choices just provide huge pointless lists, but if you are patient with it, you should be able to find if you have a local NAS group or a Parents Group for Autism.

    Trouble with these is that they tend to be for parents of children, not for adults. Some are more progressive and have implemented adult facilities, but often you can only join as a parent, not as a person with autism.

    But your local group may be able to direct you to services that you could then contact to get help. Its a roundabout way, but lots of parents have had to follow such searches and there ought to be more responses to help. The discussions are a bit thin on the ground at present, it is usually a lot livelier (I keep wondering if I post too much and scare people off).

    Also contact your local authority adult services - often a mixed bag, but sometimes they are able to help.

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  • It is so sad that this sort of thing keeps cropping up. If you are deemed to be able to cope and not need support, there is a massive step down between supported and unsupported. This makes transition from school age to adult all the harder.

    Added to which I worry that NAS, for all the campaigning, still thinks in terms of those needing support as adults as being the issue. There is also an opinion out there that if you can manage you don't really have autism.

    The situation is now made worse by the Welfare Reforms, which expect even supported people on the spectrum to find work and is cutting back on DLA in the move towards PIP.

    Look on the Community page of the NAS website for local services, bottom right hand corner. Its a fiddle as many search word choices just provide huge pointless lists, but if you are patient with it, you should be able to find if you have a local NAS group or a Parents Group for Autism.

    Trouble with these is that they tend to be for parents of children, not for adults. Some are more progressive and have implemented adult facilities, but often you can only join as a parent, not as a person with autism.

    But your local group may be able to direct you to services that you could then contact to get help. Its a roundabout way, but lots of parents have had to follow such searches and there ought to be more responses to help. The discussions are a bit thin on the ground at present, it is usually a lot livelier (I keep wondering if I post too much and scare people off).

    Also contact your local authority adult services - often a mixed bag, but sometimes they are able to help.

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