• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 3931 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Independent living for son with Aspergers

Toffee

Hello,

my son is 20, has Asperger's and presently lives with me. He is an only child, and I am a single parent, his father being absent some years.

Son is at the moment unemployed and not in education. After leaving school he attended a local college course for students with additional needs, but after 18 months decided the other students were too noisy. He also felt the same about an AS social group. Supported employment too seems thin on the ground, having tried talking to the local Disability Advisor at the Jobcentre. He does go out with a support worker once a week, and has regular meetings with a social worker.

 

He is very lonely and isolated, despite being a young lad with strong interests in reading and current affairs. Also, as it has been the two of us for the past ten years, he is becoming more and more reliant upon me for company and support. Although he himself does not like to go out much, he becomes stressed if I am out - even to visit a neighbour - and will phone my mobile repeatedly.

What worries me is what happens if I become ill or die? (I'm only 50, but who knows?!)He is able to shop, use a microwave, use the washing machine, but I fear that he would become even more isolated and depressed.

We have talked about this together, and my son thinks it might be good to start looking at options for independent living sooner rather than later. He would prefer to live with other people rather than alone with carers visiting.

Does anyone have any similar experience? We were wondering about the Camphill Communities, as there as several in Scotland where we live, and he is used to country living and would like to keep a cat or dog.

We would really value any experiences anyone would share,

thanks! :)

 

 

 

 

Parents

  • Hi

    I'm new to the website/forum but I'm beginning to run out of ideas.  My son was diagnosed at 17 has had little help from Social Services and has recently been assessed as able to make his own decisions and therefore outside of their scope for support. 

    My thoughts have now transferred to perhaps its me that needs the help.  We are a 4 person family my partner, myself daughter and Son.  He is the eldest.  Didn't do well at school and didn't do further education.  Got a job window cleaning and has since become owner, though this sounds good it's not quite the success story that it sounds.

    I feel that if Social Services can't support me to develop Owen further at home then realistically he needs to move to independent living at 23 he still thinks that as a mum I should pretty much do everything for him still.  He does have some domestic skills but they are limited and won't improved with the attitude he has.  I am looking to find somewhere for him to move onto but don't have a clue how to get this properly moving.  He has no financial ability and will spend all his money.  As far as he is concerned he is alright at home (though we aren't).  We have thought about supported living but I perceive Owen to be a bit like an alcoholic in denial - he thinks he's ok and that his friends don't know he's different.

    At this stage it looks like he won't go of his own free will, we aren't coping at home either so I'm at a loss.  I will be going to see the CAB next week, but any hints and tips will be most gratefully received.

Reply

  • Hi

    I'm new to the website/forum but I'm beginning to run out of ideas.  My son was diagnosed at 17 has had little help from Social Services and has recently been assessed as able to make his own decisions and therefore outside of their scope for support. 

    My thoughts have now transferred to perhaps its me that needs the help.  We are a 4 person family my partner, myself daughter and Son.  He is the eldest.  Didn't do well at school and didn't do further education.  Got a job window cleaning and has since become owner, though this sounds good it's not quite the success story that it sounds.

    I feel that if Social Services can't support me to develop Owen further at home then realistically he needs to move to independent living at 23 he still thinks that as a mum I should pretty much do everything for him still.  He does have some domestic skills but they are limited and won't improved with the attitude he has.  I am looking to find somewhere for him to move onto but don't have a clue how to get this properly moving.  He has no financial ability and will spend all his money.  As far as he is concerned he is alright at home (though we aren't).  We have thought about supported living but I perceive Owen to be a bit like an alcoholic in denial - he thinks he's ok and that his friends don't know he's different.

    At this stage it looks like he won't go of his own free will, we aren't coping at home either so I'm at a loss.  I will be going to see the CAB next week, but any hints and tips will be most gratefully received.

Children
No Data