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Independent living for son with Aspergers

Toffee

Hello,

my son is 20, has Asperger's and presently lives with me. He is an only child, and I am a single parent, his father being absent some years.

Son is at the moment unemployed and not in education. After leaving school he attended a local college course for students with additional needs, but after 18 months decided the other students were too noisy. He also felt the same about an AS social group. Supported employment too seems thin on the ground, having tried talking to the local Disability Advisor at the Jobcentre. He does go out with a support worker once a week, and has regular meetings with a social worker.

 

He is very lonely and isolated, despite being a young lad with strong interests in reading and current affairs. Also, as it has been the two of us for the past ten years, he is becoming more and more reliant upon me for company and support. Although he himself does not like to go out much, he becomes stressed if I am out - even to visit a neighbour - and will phone my mobile repeatedly.

What worries me is what happens if I become ill or die? (I'm only 50, but who knows?!)He is able to shop, use a microwave, use the washing machine, but I fear that he would become even more isolated and depressed.

We have talked about this together, and my son thinks it might be good to start looking at options for independent living sooner rather than later. He would prefer to live with other people rather than alone with carers visiting.

Does anyone have any similar experience? We were wondering about the Camphill Communities, as there as several in Scotland where we live, and he is used to country living and would like to keep a cat or dog.

We would really value any experiences anyone would share,

thanks! :)

 

 

 

 

Parents

  • Hi - my son's in supported living.  I've learnt a lot over the yrs about what "works" for him.  He isn't aspergers.  He gets his support from an autism-specific organisation.  I think, from experience, that it's important to go down that route, rather than use a generic care provider, even if they have an "autism section" within their organisation.  We were able to examine a "preferred providers list" from social services, draw up a shortlist + then have presentations by the organisations.  We were then able to choose.  Social services arranged things once we'd shortlisted and again once we'd decided.  Secondly, think hard about sharing accommodation.  That's not to say there's anything wrong with sharing, it's who he'll be sharing with + how many?  Quite often in shared houses the only place he'll be able to go for a bit of peace + quiet will be his bedroom or maybe in the garden or for a walk if it's in the countryside.  He'll need to be assessed by social services for supported living via his social worker.  Bear in mind that funding is tight, altho I don't know if things are easier in Scotland.  I think it's certainly worth pursuing.  Having to move home at a time of crisis (such as a parent becoming ill etc) is never a good thing.  Better to discuss, make plans + then start putting them into action.

Reply

  • Hi - my son's in supported living.  I've learnt a lot over the yrs about what "works" for him.  He isn't aspergers.  He gets his support from an autism-specific organisation.  I think, from experience, that it's important to go down that route, rather than use a generic care provider, even if they have an "autism section" within their organisation.  We were able to examine a "preferred providers list" from social services, draw up a shortlist + then have presentations by the organisations.  We were then able to choose.  Social services arranged things once we'd shortlisted and again once we'd decided.  Secondly, think hard about sharing accommodation.  That's not to say there's anything wrong with sharing, it's who he'll be sharing with + how many?  Quite often in shared houses the only place he'll be able to go for a bit of peace + quiet will be his bedroom or maybe in the garden or for a walk if it's in the countryside.  He'll need to be assessed by social services for supported living via his social worker.  Bear in mind that funding is tight, altho I don't know if things are easier in Scotland.  I think it's certainly worth pursuing.  Having to move home at a time of crisis (such as a parent becoming ill etc) is never a good thing.  Better to discuss, make plans + then start putting them into action.

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