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Preteen’s aversion to looking in mirrors

NAS91296

Over the last couple of years, my 11 yr old daughter with ASD has come to hate having her picture taken because she “doesn’t like looking at herself”. Recently she has started to completely avoid looking at herself in mirrors. She was diagnosed with ASD 4 years ago and is high functioning, but she started middle school this year and is on the cusp of puberty. I know this is a fraught time and I worry this is a symptom of low self esteem or the start of body dysmorphia. Does anyone have any experience with this?

  • Here's a little different thought. 

    Self-Esteem is often much less of a problem for us. In fact, because we don't deal assimilate Cognitive Dissonance, when we struggle with rejection, it's because of the surprising cruelty and knowledge of an internal conflict. It's confusing. I have so much to give! I cannot make sense of disliking something I quite like. Humans are vulnerable and worth-while. Rejection hurts because it's supposed to. It doesn't change me as a deep vibrant person full of potential. But repeated rejection or continual isolation weighs heavy on the human spirit - no one is supposed to respond with joy. But again, something deeper in us knows that there is an incongruity. If there's a gap between fitting in or feeling with others, and where I am, it doesn't lower personal esteem, but it might take the wind out of my sails if I have little knowledge of what's blocking me from being part of a collective. 

    Another possibility along the same lines of how I understand who I am vs what a mirror or image is telling me, could be this: 

    A work in process should be left to bloom. There could be something deeper in her who knows what she's supposed to look like, a future sense of becoming, or even an appreciation of what she used to look like. This sounds philosophical, but in fact, it's a very real thing. The image not matching up with how I sense-percieve myself.

    It could be a good time to explore Creative Expression of the self. Would a new hair colour/cut fit? Perhaps if you help her explore music and art, she can actively 'design' her external being to match her internal, though still a work in progress :) 

  • Does she have prosopragnosia? Was she very quiet in school but the opposite at home?  Did she panic when in a shop or busy place when she lost eyesight of where you were? (Key signs of prosopragnosia).

    May have nothing to do with prosopragnosia... But when you mentioned mirrors and photographs... I get protopragnosia. I can often forget what I look like. Looking at mirrors can come as a surprize.Same as photos. The only way I could identify myself when we had a school photo was because I stood at the end (Was way too claustrophobic to stand or sit in with everyone else). I remember where I stood so I was able to find myself. I couldn't really do it if I didn't remember where I stood!

    BUT it could be something where she does not like the way she looks...