Nothing much of a post but just something that always had me wondering....when my autistic son was born I ones had no idea about autism at that point and it was first kid and I was orphan from abusive care system etc so I basically had zero idea about parenthood etc ...but what got me to this day that I still wonder about is....
When I gave birth I nearly died dureing (long story which I won't go into let's just say NHS are not great) so I woke up in hospital bed and they wheeled in my son to me and I held him.and at that moment I was filled with an overwhelming feeling like I'd never experienced before of love beyond measure but when I look back it was more than what you typocaly hear of even in the most bonded of mother child story's I realise it was way more than that as I also with that overwhelming feeling of love also had a overwhelming feeling that the entire universe was something that I'd need to protect my son from.am overwhelming beyond normal need to protect..I know now that it was because on an intuitive level I knew my son was disabled . When he was baby the bond was so intense that we would bothe wake at same time.in the night knowing he needed feeding many of the needs it was just a knowing and I think it was like this as he didn't have or I knew on some.level he couldn't tell me otherwise he didn't have those tools also even today I actually here his thoughts and he here's mine like actual telepathy...I think all thus is a mixture of his disability our love and also the intense situations ie nearly dying or being brought back near death in childbirth and also when he was about 2 or 3 we bothe caught dysentery and food poisoning and basically the doctor said oh nothing wrong with you you have stomach bug go home...turned out that was not case and we were alone with no support and basically bothe were near death and to this day its a miracle we are alive in fact...