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Autistic daughter got her first period

NAS91187

Hi  first time posting here. My daughter (13) was recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum and is considered as 'High functioning ' she got her first period last night and is struggling to accept the change. 

I have spent a lot of time since she began puberty preparing her for what having a period is like and answering her questions honestly and with clear language so I thought she would handle getting her period better than she has. She is very tearful at 'no longer being a child' and is embarrassed that this is happening to her.  I have explained this happens to all girls and in fact she is the last of her small group of friends to get her period. 

I've explained how to use sanitary products though she doesn't have the greatest record in personal hygiene and I'm concerned about her not changing her pads often enough- something I can control when we're together but when she's at school and I'm at work that's not something I can keep an eye on.

Is there any advice on how to handle this in a way that she will understand and accept but without being too condescending?

  • in reply to MrSolo

    This isn’t always an option for many. Disrupting hormones / endocrine system affects heart rate and our entire bodies “eco-system” and can lead to complications. Just to be mindful- I use caution even suggesting hormone balancing herbs.  

  • in reply to MrSolo

    Same for me, tbh. The progesterone-only pill has kept mine mostly at bay for the last couple of years and it's been life-changing- I have horrible periods due to endometriosis and actually being mentally and physically functional (ish!) when I used to be useless for a full week has been amazing.

  • Robyn Steward has done some great work on periods and autism- she has a book called The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods that might be quite helpful, though it does start with the absolute basics so you might find that it's a bit simple for what you need. Robyn does have some other resources available online too that you could have a look at, with varying levels of language and detail right up to research level.

    I agree with Fibonacci Squid that period pants are worth a try if you're concerned about her changing her pads on time- they're intended to be used all day so your daughter could wear a pair for school and then change when she gets home and there's someone around to remind her. Loads of adults wear period pants and they come in different styles so they might actually feel like some fancy grown-up knickers to her without being TOO grown up!

  • I am also very bad at hygiene and I'm now 21. It's a struggle.

    If you're worried about her not changing pads often enough, have you considered period pants or reusable pads?

    As well as being much more comfortable in my experience, they also last a lot longer, certainly a full school day, and then neither you nor her have to worry about it.

  • There is absolutely no reason anyone should have to accept having periods when it is possible to stop them. Progestin-based birth control is the first thing to try, first pills then depo injection or implant, going to higher doses of norethisterone if that doesn't work. The biggest regret of my life is that I wasted so many years of it menstruating. If someone has helped me stop them as soon as they started it would have made my life so much better.