non verbal ASD son and not knowing how to parent.

1. Ahh five such a sweet age ...in fact it may be a bit clichéd but I'm gonna say firstly something that I'd say to anyone who has a k8d autism or no autism and that is although it's hard just try to treasure him now as they grown up quick you know and also my autistic son who is 24 now said to me he was happier as a kid and like all people autistic or not as you get older the brain changes in a way that effects your happiness ie you have to grapple with things like getting a job housing more adult communication ie your not as a kid playing with the box instead of the present that came in it as you don't care you're happy ...just be aware that for your son these may be the most carefree happy times he's gonna have life will get harder for him as he grows not that I'm trying to get you down but just to show you to appreciate where he's at right now. Yes I know what your going thru I was single parent and an orphan myself with a disabled kid and at that time all services failed me they didn't recognise autism back then ..anyway I digress...I did what you did sat there and clock watched lol....I'm not gonna sugar coat it and am gonna just do real talk here...the services and help just isn't there in the uk it just isn't...I'd recommend internet search local communities where you can face to face share a troubled story with some1 going thru same thing..also I recommend that you're gonna have to be your best self..let your child inspire you to be better ..look at your child they are feeling worse than you and yet they happy...you have everything whereas your kid is dealing with having nothing to get by in this world.. yet look at how your child goes about they are most likely struggling greatly yet they still Continue and you have to step up they need you...and there is NOTHING more valuable than that love between you I repeat  NOTHING..  When you are old and grey that kid is still gonna be there for you it's the one upside ...my son is 24 I am 54 this Yr his Autism means he a shut in pretty much though we are working on it and yes i want him to have the best life he can have etc but unlike most non autistic kids would have left at 18 and as a single person you be in your old age lonely by my son absolutely adores me as I him and he is there for me and I am proud of the fact that as a family unit there is that love and bond.dont get me wrong if I could make a wish I'd rather he was off doing stuff "normal"adults do but hey you gotta see the positive.  I like you had zero help it was hell and also they refused me funding to get him into special school as he didn't have his diagnosis his bit of paper back then as he does now so it was even tougher for me plus I came from an abusive care system..hell l if I can do it then you can ! What I did was learn the practice of meditation morning and night and went also to community centre where I'd get to talk a bit with others etc and I just adored and loved my son so much beyond anything I can describe that I believe that's what got us through. You gotta step up you gotta dig deep don't buckle don't quit jus cos its getting ugly. Try man try ! Do everything In your power to make it work where you and your son can have a good life. Make an effort..in what way works for you but I don't know what to recommend as I'm not you. If you're feeling frazzled then just diminish the amount of things like say...leave the washing up do it another day focus on the important things..it sounds like your doing to much..whenni said dig deep and try..I'm referring to searching for help or groups you can join for support and finding ways to give you the extra energy and peace you need to cope that is demanded of you..ie change yours and your kids diet look into exercise etc

You are so welcome! I hope this helps you and your son!

Thank you so much

Oh no that must be incredibly frustating for you son, which may be a cause/trigger for meltdown. Just so you are aware, there are some great communication apps that you can download on your phone or tablet including Proloquo:

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/proloquo/id1521978238

Proloquo is symbol based which may be more suitable for your son as he is used to picture based communication.

I hope this helps!

Hello nonVerbalASDpops,

Your non verbal son may benefit from visual supports as a communication tool. The NAS website has an article on that: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/communication/communication-tools/visual-supports

You can also search the NAS website for relevant information to help your son.

All the best,

Karin Mod 

he doesnt no, he had a communication book but it was then scrapped by mainstream school to focus on PEC's which we dont know at what stage he is currently at given the transition to new school.

Does he have any access to another form of reliable communication? For example, BSL, an electronic communication device or a communication book.