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Autistic adult child wracking up huge mobile phone bills

NAS91077

Hi, have just joined the group as looking for some advice. My step-son who is autistic is almost 22 and lives at home with me and his mum (my wife). He is wracking literally hundreds of pounds every month on his mobile phone (we don't know on what exactly, but suspect downloading games but it could be other stuff). He refuses to put the contract into his mums name so she can monitor usage and restrict purchases. He has a full time job so it comes out of his wage, but that's not really the point. We don't know how to manage. Does anyone have any suggestions? 

Parents

  • Have you sat him down and worked out a monthly spending / income budget? It's probably time he begins to think about how much everyone earns vs how much everything costs. If his whole pay check is going to a phone it's not a wise use of money unless he doesn't have to worry about the future. 

    He's still young and being autistic will mature slower. If you'd like him to be more financially serious, book a date with him that works with his schedule to begin to talk through finances and once a month, look through the budget and evaluate. Don't judge, just allow him to look at the math. I might also suggest to make it an enjoyable time. Tea, cake, sandwiches, nibbles. 

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thank you. In conjunction with 'Martin's' comments these are great suggestions. He currently pays 'board' and his mum then manages his remaining wage, drip-feeding him money as and when he asks for it. He doesn't have to think of all the other expenditure, I've food, utility bills etc. but this could be contributing to the issue. Not sure if he is yet mature enough (or ever will be) to manage his money but it's worth a go. Thanks. 

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  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thank you. In conjunction with 'Martin's' comments these are great suggestions. He currently pays 'board' and his mum then manages his remaining wage, drip-feeding him money as and when he asks for it. He doesn't have to think of all the other expenditure, I've food, utility bills etc. but this could be contributing to the issue. Not sure if he is yet mature enough (or ever will be) to manage his money but it's worth a go. Thanks. 

Children
  • in reply to NAS91077

    He won't be ready. But the point is to begin to include him into the family's Business as a matter of passing the torch. This shouldn't approached as a lesson to teach, but an opportunity for him to begin to walk with you on these things. Start small. Open discussion on savings and future plans even if they simply involve a new hob. Getting into the details of all the nuances between cost and function - help him understand how to save for something which lasts and when to spend on the cheap won't matter. Maybe even end the day each month with a whisky or something which suggests stepping up into a responsibility. 

    It is somewhere in our nature to walk beside our elders and learn to navigate life. He may look back on these moments with fondness.