I'm getting worried about a decline in my teenage daughter's MH and don't know how far to push her as professionals as saying she needs to attend school and see professionals involved with us but she just can't.
She was diagnosed less than a year ago. School has become too much and she struggles to go at all. She is getting more socially anxious which is very worrying. She has always been what we thought was just shy, not talking to people from a young age. Lots of people are trying to help but this is what she doesn't cope with and I feel all their involvement is making her worse and we are seeing anxious behviours in her.
We had a professional visit us again and my daughter was made aware with plenty notice and we gently told her the lady was here to help. As soon as the lady spoke to her she seemed to mentally freeze, ran into the dinning room and I found her on the floor in the corner facing the wall unable to move or speak.
She can't talk to people outside the house either and we had an incident with a shop assistant who had commented nicely about the hat my daughter was wearing expecting a reply from her which didn't happen and the shop assistant was of bit off with her, commenting on whether she had heard her. I spoke on my daughter's behalf but the comment the assistant made was assuming my daughter was rude. My daughter was wearing the sunflower lanyard but I know I can't assume everyone notices these and understands their use. I'm wondering whether it would be good to have a TV advert about these?
This incident and many others have affected her confidence again. Obviously I was trying to help her be more independent and boost her confidence by paying for groceries at the till but now she worries more about any interaction with people she doesn't know. She doesn't want to have to see anyone, just a couple of friends and us at home. I've noticed that when she has managed school she will draw on her hands and colour in her nails, pick her nails right down and needs time to recover from the stress this causes.
professionals as saying she needs to attend school and see professionals involved
It's likely they don't fully understand how overwhelming this would be for her in her current state. It is attending school that has caused the problems in the first place and going back without adequate support in place is not going to work.
Any meeting with professionals should happen in an environment in which your daughter can feel safe. Would she possibly be open to appointments by video call? That can be a lot less overwhelming than an in person interaction.
we gently told her the lady was here to help. As soon as the lady spoke to her she seemed to mentally freeze, ran into the dinning room and I found her on the floor in the corner facing the wall unable to move or speak.
That's sounds like an autistic shutdown, a response to being severely overwhelmed.
The situation is not easy by any means and results from the build up of years of lack of support and resultant stress on your daughter. It is so important that your daughter is allowed to progress at a rate that is comfortable for her. Attempts to push her too much while she is in burnout will have the kind of negative results you have already encountered.
Don't be afraid to trust your instincts. You know your daughter better than the professionals do and they do not always have appropriate understanding of autism. CAMHS sadly have somewhat of a reputation for making the mental health of autistic children worse rather than better.
