Aspergers memory issues, advice for home schooler

Hi Emu,

Thanks for that, it is a good idea.  My son is always "happy" too, but i am sure he really is most of the time,  he would not give the lengthy answer as your son would, that is part of the reason i took him out of school as i was not happy that he would not request help if needed with bullies, not understanding work or instructions and if he felt unwell.  i am a born worrier also so nice to have him at home were he is safe and happy, although the social aspect can be difficult as all his old school friends are losing interest as he is no longer attending school, (makes me a bit sad) i so want him to have a best friend and confident and i know he wants one too.

He did have one for two years but the parent was an awful women who used us as a babysitting service and would leave the children at her house unattended, so that unfortunatly had to stop.

Are you enjoying the homeschooling?  Do you have support or other homeschooling friends.  I love it, after the initial decision to home school was made(which was the hardest part) we are all now very happy with it,  but it is hard work sometimes.  The benefits far outweigh any negatives though. 

As i have not yet had my son officially assessed, (not sure why, something just keeps stopping me) So We dont have any support.   As we are so remote i am just not sure we would get enough help to justify a label anyway!!  Our nearest large specialist hospital is 3 hours away. 

Take care

puffin

Perhaps you could try the tray game, and use objects that could entice feelings - ? his favorite car, or a toy or book. a mobile phone, a pic of a crying baby (IDK, just an idea!)  etc etc.. maybe tell him how each item makes you feel, and why. or take it in turns about each item, remember 1 item and describe it physically, and how you feel about it.. if how he "feels" about it is a step too far, then try - what does the item make you want to do, and relate how what we want to do with something could be related to how we feel about it?  Thanks for the thoughts about this by the way, i'm going to try with my son :-)

My son, 5 with AS, also home schooled :-) nearly always answers "great!" whenever anyone asks how hes feeling. but if not, they get a lengthy answer of why hes not feeling great ;-)

HI Azalea,

Thank you for that insight.  He does really struggle talking and understanding feelings so maybe that was it too many thoughts going on in his head.  I really want to try to understand him as much as possible less anxiety all round then.  My son if asked is always "Happy" and he does seem so the majority of the time, i just wanted to try and get him to understand and talk about emotions, slowley but surely.  In understanding and expressing emotions i hope he will get less stressed and anxious.

Hope all is well with you, do you enjoy Christmas?  My son is very excited.  WE bought him two Gerbils in the summer by the way, he loves them Maybe Guine pigs or a rabbit next.  I hope your pets are well and still giving you much joy.

Thank you and take care.

Puffin

Thank you very much for this Longman, His attention span is better when he is interested in the subject that is clear.  We played the memory tray game last week and he was brilliant put his dad and I to shame.  I am struggling to pin point the exact problem.  he is very bright but does struggle at spelling.  he does clearly become unconfortable when talking about feelings which will increase anxiety and yes then he does not perform as well but he was coming up with nothing!  and his explanation of "remembering the things he does that second" surprised me!

Dyslexia i had not considered,he is a great reader, with  some prompting but does hate writing daily diaries for example.  He can never think what to put in them (possibly lack of the visual to aid memory)?  e also really struggles with fictional writing with a lack of imagination and ideas.

I will try more memory games and look into Dyslexia, thank you for your advice.

Puffin

Is dyslexia a factor, eg comorbid with asperger's?

A major part of dyslexia is short-term memory, whether that means not being able to remember how a sentence you are reading started before you reach the end, or not being able to remember an instruction seconds before trying to act on it.

Asperger's is more likely to involve better short-term memory, but I don't think there's much clear guidance on this. However memory can be affected by lack of focus, if not interested in what is currently going on.  Is his short term memory good when he is doing something he enjoys?

In particular sensory-overload could be a factor, if there's too much else going on in his head through worrying about issues that he cannot explain or understand. That would result in tiredness and listlessness.  Is his attention span an issue (ADHD)?

You could try memory trays. Put some objects on a tray, maybe a dozen different things, varied shapes and sizes. If strongly visual he may remember these better. After a minute or so, take the tray out of sight and ask him to tell you or write down the things on the tray.  You could compare this with a memory for numbers, such as number of same objects, or numbers displayed on objects on the tray.

There are puzzle books that have spot the difference between pictures - man on the left is wearing one shoe only in left picture, two shoes in right picture. Doing these regularly can improve observation and memory.

It is a pity "I-spy" books seem to have gone out of fashion....those books with every variety of some type of object - cars, trains, birds, flags, which you couldn't complete unless you lived in the Home Counties. They increase observation and memory, but can lead to bad habits like train spotting.