conformity or not???

My son took part in a school outing, I accompanied him and he had some difficulties to begin with. .ie. When receiving instructions. .interrupted the coach to correct/comment on what he said. .behaved a hyper & also took a panic attack & I had to talk him round & support!  Anyhow towards the end of the session he had settled and was enjoying himself.  As it was only a 2 wk bkock I had agreed to accompany him as I want him to participate and he defo struggles to do so without support! I was then approached by the deputy head the day before he was to take part again that it was felt because of his behaviour he wasn't allowed to attend today!  After having a think about it and discussing with ky son to ensure he still wished to participate..I contacted the school..I spoke to the dep head who advised that the head teacher had said he wasn't allowed to go because of his behaviour?  I explained that it is part of his illness .ie social awareness or lack of it and she replied he needed to conform. Mi said no he needs to be understood.

He wasallowed to attend the session but towards the end had a meltdown. .hitting his head etc. .when I collected him from school the deputy head came and spoke to him and said how disappointed she was with him!  I just feel that they are not taking his diagnosis seriously and are treating him like a bad boy who has a choice in how he reacts! I also feel that they wish to exclude him on the basis of difficult situations arising so what opportunities will he get!  Are they right and should he be expected to conform to what is regarded as the norm? :-/ 

Parents
  • Thanks unfortunately. .he was only diagnosed approx a month ago. .he is 10 and I was in 'discussions' with the school as he was being bullied..this was denied for the best part of a year by the school however they finally accepted this was the case. This totally changed his behaviour. .he has become very withdrawn..suffers severe anxiety attacks, school refusal as he no longer feels safe & wanted, (he was told on several occasions he was making it up!  I've had various remarks that they don't have time for his behaviour. .don't have resources etc. I am totally hands on with the situation I take him into school everyday settle him in for about 20 mins before I leave!  I would go to the ends of the earth to make him feel wanted & secure however I am expecting too much or alternatively don't expect enough!  :-( I have another child at same school who is content and im trying not to rock boats! :-) x

Reply
  • Thanks unfortunately. .he was only diagnosed approx a month ago. .he is 10 and I was in 'discussions' with the school as he was being bullied..this was denied for the best part of a year by the school however they finally accepted this was the case. This totally changed his behaviour. .he has become very withdrawn..suffers severe anxiety attacks, school refusal as he no longer feels safe & wanted, (he was told on several occasions he was making it up!  I've had various remarks that they don't have time for his behaviour. .don't have resources etc. I am totally hands on with the situation I take him into school everyday settle him in for about 20 mins before I leave!  I would go to the ends of the earth to make him feel wanted & secure however I am expecting too much or alternatively don't expect enough!  :-( I have another child at same school who is content and im trying not to rock boats! :-) x

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