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Where to start?

Steve

I'm hoping we have some seasoned supporters here. We have just received formal diagnosis of our 14 Year old son, who has both ASD and ADHD and wondered if any parents and/ or carers could offer some early advice on next steps? I appreciate it. 

  • Hi,

    my daughter is 12, she hasn't formally been diagnosed, but following lots of issues with peers at school an EP assessment was carried out before summer. The outcome was noted that she has traits of ASD and ADHD. She feels isolated and different, and this was actually mentioned in the report. Although she is very friendly and outgoing, she is quite vulnerable and a target amongst her peers.  We could both really do with some support too! ......Her behaviour at home and school is challenging and sometimes quite frightening if I'm honest. I try to keep her busy and away from the screen as much as possible. I find sport activities are very good, although she's not keen on team sports. Recently she has started going to our local youth club. It's great, but she got sent home early after an incident there too. I too feel a little isolated and that people are constantly judging me as a parent. I know there isn't many youth clubs around these days, but its something I would recommend looking into. My daughter also enjoys drama and has previously attended clubs (some free through the local authority). 

    Through my professional career I have also found these strategies to help -

    Keeping busy/releasing energy/movement breaks

    Meditation/relaxation time

    Having a schedule/consistent routine 

    Reflective and restorative conversations 

    Lots of praise and validation of emotions 

    Clear boundaries and directions

    From a mum seeking support too x 

  • My younger brother was diagnosed at 14 with ASD and definitely has some ADHD traits.

    The big thing for us was making sure the school support was in place, and that he began to get used to using the things he needed help with (leaving class for safe space when overwhelmed rather than holding it in and having later for example).

    School was sufficiently convinced he was autistic that a lot of that started before the official diagnosis, but he took some getting used to it and working out what coping skills worked for him.

    So in total, trying to figure out what the difficult bits are the main challenges, and then starting to workout what might help and get the support put in place? It may take your son a bit of time to understand, and realise what bits are possibly due to with autism.

  • Based on my own life experience, concentrate on what he CAN do well, and celebrate his achievements as well as criticising his failings. 

    Until someone corrects me, I've come to define my own Autism experience in one word as "anooyance". I'm constantly either handing some out or on the receiving end of annoyance, which makes it difficult to be "nice".

    I have to fake it a lot of the time, if I want a nicer life than I would other wise have.. "Faking it, IS nice for other people, and there's a weird little reality paradox in there I know.