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Can behaviour coping/ improvements happen between ages of 5 and 7 years old? (demand avoidance/ dysregulated emotions/ meltdowns)

NAS87511

Hi there. Our son is 5 years old and feels like his demand avoidance etc is getting worse. He started school year OK but he now mostly refuses to stay in the classroom, runs off to escape, and reacts to most demands or pressure. He gets dysregulated often when doesn't get his own way and finds it very hard to cope with his feelings, at home and school. Stating the obvious, we love him to bits and would love for him to develop coping strategies etc in order to be happier and be able to do more 'normal' things he rejects at the moment.

We are trying to get an idea if we can be hopeful that over the next 2 years, with the right help, our son will be able to cope better? to feel less angry/ frustrated/ anxious, and generally calmer. Is this realistic? High chance, low chance? Hoping by age of 7, in 2 years he will be more developed and able to handle his challenges better than he can now. 

We're doing Speech and language therapy, soon to start occupational therapy. Have applied for EHCP at school.

Be good to hear if parents generally think we could be hopeful for good degree of improvement, or if it's not that likley. (Appreciate all kids and families are different and unique!)

thank you.

Parents

  • HI,

    It can be managed if both parents work together, strong boundaries but this is not always effective as i have seen myself over the years with my son. 

    Things really went downhill when he started secondary School (mainstream) they had got him an EHCP and we had family support but none of it was helpful. 

    My son is challenging and can be aggressive and reluctant to rules and boundaries and consequences have no effect only he rips the doors off and smashes things up.

    I must warn you it could get worse, as soon as my son started puberty all hell broke loose. It is such a hard one to manage and cope with and I have suffered with my mental health to such an extent i wanted to give up. Now he is doing alternative provision he seems much happier but there are still anger issues with him.

    He is better now he is not in mainstream School and we are looking for another one for him, a special School and they called me yesterday to say they have a space available for him so this will go to panel again and hopefully he will get it.

    The school and council have been rubbish and i have had to put in many complaints. You know your child better than anyone all i can say is keep fighting and ringing people all the time, Email and keep a paper trail  even complain if you have to .

    does he have any diagnoses, has he been screened for ADHD? if so medication can help but as my son is 13 he is refusing 

Reply

  • HI,

    It can be managed if both parents work together, strong boundaries but this is not always effective as i have seen myself over the years with my son. 

    Things really went downhill when he started secondary School (mainstream) they had got him an EHCP and we had family support but none of it was helpful. 

    My son is challenging and can be aggressive and reluctant to rules and boundaries and consequences have no effect only he rips the doors off and smashes things up.

    I must warn you it could get worse, as soon as my son started puberty all hell broke loose. It is such a hard one to manage and cope with and I have suffered with my mental health to such an extent i wanted to give up. Now he is doing alternative provision he seems much happier but there are still anger issues with him.

    He is better now he is not in mainstream School and we are looking for another one for him, a special School and they called me yesterday to say they have a space available for him so this will go to panel again and hopefully he will get it.

    The school and council have been rubbish and i have had to put in many complaints. You know your child better than anyone all i can say is keep fighting and ringing people all the time, Email and keep a paper trail  even complain if you have to .

    does he have any diagnoses, has he been screened for ADHD? if so medication can help but as my son is 13 he is refusing 

Children
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