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Can behaviour coping/ improvements happen between ages of 5 and 7 years old? (demand avoidance/ dysregulated emotions/ meltdowns)

NAS87511

Hi there. Our son is 5 years old and feels like his demand avoidance etc is getting worse. He started school year OK but he now mostly refuses to stay in the classroom, runs off to escape, and reacts to most demands or pressure. He gets dysregulated often when doesn't get his own way and finds it very hard to cope with his feelings, at home and school. Stating the obvious, we love him to bits and would love for him to develop coping strategies etc in order to be happier and be able to do more 'normal' things he rejects at the moment.

We are trying to get an idea if we can be hopeful that over the next 2 years, with the right help, our son will be able to cope better? to feel less angry/ frustrated/ anxious, and generally calmer. Is this realistic? High chance, low chance? Hoping by age of 7, in 2 years he will be more developed and able to handle his challenges better than he can now. 

We're doing Speech and language therapy, soon to start occupational therapy. Have applied for EHCP at school.

Be good to hear if parents generally think we could be hopeful for good degree of improvement, or if it's not that likley. (Appreciate all kids and families are different and unique!)

thank you.

Parents

  • It probably will depend what is triggering him to want to run away from class and whether that trigger can be removed for him. Is he able to communicate what he doesn’t like about school? If it is all rooted in demand avoidance then his teachers will need to change their approach when he is asked to do things. Is he in a mainstream school?

Reply

  • It probably will depend what is triggering him to want to run away from class and whether that trigger can be removed for him. Is he able to communicate what he doesn’t like about school? If it is all rooted in demand avoidance then his teachers will need to change their approach when he is asked to do things. Is he in a mainstream school?

Children
  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    Also, As it's so challenging at the moment I was also looking for a steer to hear if anyone had positive stories of their kids handling the challenges of autism/ PDA better at say age 7/8 as opposed to 5. Our hope is he can learn and develop and things will become a little easier that now. thank you

  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    thank you for your reply . It's a good question - we used to think maybe it was too much going on, 30 kids, noise etc but actuall;y think thats not the main issue. He really doesnt like talking about his feelings but he saids he hates classroom as the work is too hard - things that are reading, writing, maths i think he just reaches capacity v fast and a whole day of the threat of that means he just rejects it. first half of term he would stay in class most of the day, now not at all. maybe his masking has run out.
    All he wanst to do is build things and play with marble rub/ building blocks etc and currently the teachers let him do that. he gets v dysregulated if 'forced' to do things he doesn't want so it's counter productive.
    We'll keep trying !