Urinating in bedroom

Hi. A bit of a random idea whilst seeking advice. If for example he is leaving it too late or finding it hard to wake enough to use the toilet in the night would he use a potty for now in the bedroom at night, like people used to years ago when the toilet was outside?

Thanks for the reply, I hadn't thought of him possibly being anxious about something, hopefully I will have someone to speak with soon who can possibly give me ideas to try or help figure it out in some way as it's getting very difficult to keep up with having to replace things all the time, I will post an update when I can :) 

I'm unsure, he goes to the bathroom quite alot a bedtime which has me puzzled and he goes during the day fine but I will try speak to a professional about it and see what they say, thanks for your reply :)

Hi Jenna

This sounds really challenging and quite extreme. The only thing I have to offer is that I have had issues myself (as an adult) with going to the bathroom, always when I was living in a shared house and therefore a situation where leaving my room and entering a shared area and also potentially meeting a housemate on the way was to be avoided. So I would pee into a vase or whatever. 

I wonder whether the eating the mattress was about making a suitable hole to hide the pee too?

I have no idea if it could be as 'simple' as anxiety over the bathroom and/or the public knowledge that he is maybe (in his mind) doing something that he needs to do secretly? Maybe the fact that because of what he does (which no one can help doing) there's also been disruption to his bedroom/bed and that has made him even more anxious? I always felt like my bed was a safe space, the only place to be alone etc. So it's a very emotive area.

I'm also thinking about my little anxious rescue dog peeing on our bed when we first got him. It's hard to understand how anxiety translates into behaviours, but there's obviously something about the bedroom for him, his private space?

I hope you get some help with this. Please let us know how it goes.

I never had issues like this, but an autistic friend had health issues due to retaining urine and refusing to go to the toilet as a child.

This turned out to be due to finding the toilet sensorily overwhelming (very loud, bathroom quite bright, could be smelly).

Is it possible that there is a problem such as that going on?

I don't know if you were actually referred to the main site and just ended up on the forum part I think some people do end up here that way, but if it helps this doesn't have to be an insurmountable thing, just like anyone else autistic people can go through various mental health issues and health conditions, and it's not always a permanent feature of our lives. With the right guidance and care things should improve. Good luck.

Not sure I will try to ask him and see, he's never shown any fear but I will ask and see thank you :)

He's not doing it in his pyjamas I think he's actually pulling them down to do it so thankfully hes not laying in it unless hes accidentally done it in his sleep, I will try get a professional to speak with about it, well they have mentioned pica but iv not really had any advice on these things they just gave me this website to go on to, thank you hopefully someone professional can help :)

Is there any chance he's scared of something? It might not be something you can see, as in it could be something casting a shadow onto the wall that means he thinks it's a monster or something like that. My sister had toileting issues at night (but not the mattress eating)  it turned out the night light was catching a poster wrong and she could see the eyes on it but nothing else. Took ages to work out what the fear was.

What else has he got going on? Because this sounds like pica, and something far more worrisome than just autism alone. Getting stuck in a routine of doing it might be related to autism, but what started it is likely something else entirely otherwise a lot more of us* would have been massive pee monsters as kids which isn't the case. In fact of all the fellow autistic folk I have talked to online and offline it's a common census that being soaked in liquid, and unpleasant smells like urine are usually huge sensory nightmares to be avoided like the plague. So something about your son's behaviour is expressing in a really extreme an unusual way as far as I can tell.

*(most members here are actually autistic ourselves, not therapists or teachers) 

I'd like to advise you to talk to an autism specific child psychologist if you can, because we are only able to tell you about our own experiences, and if nobody here has been in your sons position as a child themself we aren't likely to be able to tell you what to do to get him out of it.  Anything beyond our personal experiences we are literally not allowed to say as it is against forum rules to give medical or legal advice.