Hi, I’m new here 
(long post so try to stick with it)
Backstory - My son is currently 4yr10m. First started noticing signs he may be autistic around the age of 2, looking back there were signs before this but we didn’t know about it.
Approached health visitor at 2-yr check, referred to SALT and CDC for autism assessment. The CDC referral was rejected (not enough evidence). Had to do early help assessment and had a family support worker (who also recognised ND traits).
Continued struggles at nursery (Sen support from the age of 2.5yrs at nursery), began to stammer. Meltdowns, destructive behaviours, self-injurious behaviours, regression)
Went to GP with concerns (armed with videos and lists), agreed to send another CDC referral at age 3.5yrs. Again, referral rejected.
Age 4yr3m nursery then decide that he no longer needs Sen support and is ‘fine’ so take away supports and school transition follows.
Now at 4yr10m and just started school in Sept. Teacher says she doesn’t have any social concerns, but he in his own little world. He is struggling but I believe he is masking at school. When he gets home it all comes out, he is extremely stressed/emotional/exhausted. I also think he has ADHD, is very impulsive, hyperactive, cannot focus (noted in SALT report), cannot regulate emotions. His development in most areas are 18-24m behind age-expected level.
Despite his many challenges, he doesn’t present stereotypically so I wonder if this is holding back a referral/diagnosis…
What to do next????
I feel like I’ve tried twice (2 different professionals agreed assessment) and been rejected. I’m looking into private assessments, but it’s so expensive. And thinking to wait until he turns 6, so he could be assessed for ADHD too, but that’s another year away and I don’t want him to feel unsupported for another year.
Who should I speak to next? School teacher, SENCO, health visitor, GP, someone else?
I’m lost, any help appreciated….thank you