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How do you know when you've chosen the right preschool..

NAS89841

Hello everyone,

I would just like a little bit of advice for my son who is 3.8 years and recently diagnosed with autism and possible PDA. I am wondering what the correct preschool choice is when sharing and anger is a problem? Generally he likes to socialise and if he's not actually playing with another child, he doesn't mind them being there as long as he can keep his personal space. Most days when I collect, his teachers will say he has been ok but had difficulty sharing and gets very angry, some days even if a child walks up to what he's playing with he immediately shouts "no you can't have that it's mine". He doesn't deal with lack of control very well.

The other thing is he runs around the room there a lot, its rare that I collect and he's actually doing an activity. Quite often when we're walking back to the car he will shout at me, hit me etc, sometimes full on meltdown, other times when we're getting into the car he'll get irritable and burst into tears. He is obviously very tired and of course age will have part to do with it, BUT, his behaviour is very noticeable.

I am very aware that these behaviours are not his fault and he just needs help (I am autistic myself so do understand it) so I always make an effort to chat with him about his feelings.

Are these signs of being anxious within the setting?

Parents
  • NAS89841 said:
    Are these signs of being anxious within the setting?

    Yes it is very common for autistic children to lash out at their primary caregivers or have a meltdown when arriving home from a stressful place. Is he able to tell you what he doesn’t like. Is it too noisy? Boring? Does he want to choose what he does instead of following the activity plan? Sometimes at that age they’re already intellectually ready to go to school and nursery can be a bit babyish and under stimulating (although they don’t always have the emotional maturity for it, my daughter didn’t) but it may also be that another setting may suit him better but he’ll need to tell you the issues so you can choose another one. If his current setting isn’t Ofsted registered with a SENDCO that may be a good thing to look for. Are you applying for school places at the moment? (I’ve written all this assuming you’re in England, I don’t know exactly how it works elsewhere I know Scotland is a bit different)

Reply
  • NAS89841 said:
    Are these signs of being anxious within the setting?

    Yes it is very common for autistic children to lash out at their primary caregivers or have a meltdown when arriving home from a stressful place. Is he able to tell you what he doesn’t like. Is it too noisy? Boring? Does he want to choose what he does instead of following the activity plan? Sometimes at that age they’re already intellectually ready to go to school and nursery can be a bit babyish and under stimulating (although they don’t always have the emotional maturity for it, my daughter didn’t) but it may also be that another setting may suit him better but he’ll need to tell you the issues so you can choose another one. If his current setting isn’t Ofsted registered with a SENDCO that may be a good thing to look for. Are you applying for school places at the moment? (I’ve written all this assuming you’re in England, I don’t know exactly how it works elsewhere I know Scotland is a bit different)

Children
  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    He did say to me once that he wants to be at school with no teachers telling him what to do! 

    I think the reason for this is because he likes to be told in a certain way. It could be the noise level partly, i struggle with it myself to be honest. 

    One thing I know about him is that he's a learner and doesn't like to be helped with achieving, he has his own rules and if asked to join in with something, if he doesn't want to he won't. But rather than saying "no thanks" he immediately gets defensive and cross. His paediatrician has said he could have PDA which i can definitely see.

    I applied for his school place last week, his Dad and I took him to look and he loved it, said he wanted to start. Their SENCO is meant to be really good too.

    Right now my thoughts are that priority for him is structure so he understands what to expect.

    Do you have an autistic child?