• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 1652 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Exclusion

Tiggerific

Hi all, I am new and was hoping someone could offer me some support or advice.

My son is 8 years old and has a diagnosis of Aspergers, he has been excluded for two days from school after punching a boy in the face :(

We have been down the statement route (he has been excluded twice in the past) and been declined even after appealing. His problems are usually on the playground when there is no structure (usually over football!) I really dont know what to do anymore, I have talked to him till Im blue in the face about not getting into fights and to walk away and tell a teacher if something is happening he doesnt like or doesnt agree with.

I am worried that we are hitting another downward spiral and concerned about him getting permanatley excluded. I have asked the school to refer him to the school counsellor in the hope they can offer some sort of anger management but I have been told there is a waiting list and he is unlikely to be able to have this help anytime soon!

It just seems because he doesnt have any problems educationally there is no help available for him, I am starting to feel ashamed of my son and I think as a mum this is a horrible way to feel. Think I just feel very alone :(

 

 

  • glad you are getting somewhere. camhs is the phscology i was on about it is who my son sees. Hope it gets better for you soon x

  • Well we have had a bit of luck at last, my son is being referred to the school counsellor and in Sep he is able to attend a small group dealing with anger management. Also the school are going to refer him to Camhs (not sure if I spelt that right) plus they have made other adjustments for him which should help him at lunchtime.

    Feeling much more positive and just hope it was all a little blip to finally get him the help he needs :)

    Thankyou for replying and your advice, think it just helps knowing Im not alone x

  • aww bless you hun you just described my son and his schooling lol.

     

    I get what your saying about the statment i can not understand that myslef. My son also settled down alot in year2 (its the year he's curremtly in now) due to have a fantastic teacher. I had to fight For my sons statment. If your in england hun theres a service called parents in partnership  that work with most authraties they are absoluelty fantastic at helping when it comes to fighting for a statment one helped me and it was so much better as they knew the best way to say things than i did.

     

    It sounds like your sons been seen by an educational physcologist (thats if your in england btw) and it is right aboutt the schools only being allocated so many hours however there what they call generic physcolgist who can see you with your son you have to get a refereal from a gp or pedetrician and you take your child to the hospital or if you have one local health centre to be seen they help you more as they help with behviour over all not just in the school setting plus they sometimes will interveen when it comes to school as my sons has interveened when it comes to school. 

    I hope that helps abit more and they you understand what i am saying (sorry about the spelling i am not good at spelling lol) let me know if there is anything else that you would like to know.

  • Thanks for your reply Justme,

    Well initially the school applied for the statement because his behaviour was very hard to manage, however he did settle more so in Year 2 (with a fantastic teacher!) so when it came to deciding we were turned down because he was more manageable. However we decided to appeal (at this point he was in Year 3) and we asked his previous teacher if she would be a witness for us which she happily agreed to (who now happened to be in charge of SENCO at the school) Now the next bit is pretty unbelievable but true, the head was called as a witness for the LA to basically confirm he didnt need a statement but because she decided not to attend the LA called our witness to stand in her place! She told the panel everything the school had implimented to help our son and that on the whole he had shown great improvement, which was all true and unarguable. However he struggles during unstructured times, playtime & lunchtime so we were trying to push to have someone just to help him during these times. I tried my best to put all my points across, even pointing out the lunchtime supervisors have no special needs training (I know as I am one) so really there was no one equipped on the playground to deal with him efficiently if a problem arose. However despite this we were refused again.

    I just dont understand how a school can put forward for a statement and then be the very ones to scupper it?!And as for the LA I am so cross, maybe if they sent someone in to watch him instead of deciding from behind a desk they might have a different opinion.

    He saw a Psycologist when he was in Year 1 but we have not been offered any follow up, from what I understand the school only has so many slots a year and they obviously feel my son wouldnt benefit from any more sessions (I beg to differ!) We are going to look at getting him some private help but being on a tight budget this is going to be hard.

    Just feel like the only time we are actually going to get any outside help is if he gets expelled which in my eyes is a little too late. He really is a lovely boy (most of the time :) ) and he just needs some help learning to control his temper. Just at a loss what to do :(

  • Hey if you dont mind asking why they turned him down for statment? I only ask my son who is 7 is very good with his education but he was statmented because of his beahviour.

     An idea maybe would be to get a referal to s phscologist i have recently started to see one for my sons behviour.

     

    Hope that helps abit.