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Holiday advice

Tea drinker!

Hi

My daughter is 14 and has recently had an autism diagnosis. She is very anxious a lot of the time, especially when she is not at home.

We have booked a short break for 3 nights with her and our 2 other children but she is now saying that she doesn't want to come.

We have changed our plans so we are doing very little while we're away in order to try and make it easier for her but she is still saying that she doesn't want to go.

Does anyone have any advice on the best way to support her??

Thank you

  • Hi, I don’t know if it help, I always look at where I’m going to stay on the internet, I look at as many pictures of the place and the area around it as I can. I would recommend self catering if possible and see if something like her favourite pizza brand is available locally or frozen. Let her take as many personal possessions as poss, even own bedding and towels. If she does want to venture out too far  then maybe a walk with a snack on route, maybe sit outside.

     You have two other children, let your autistic daughter have a day with one of you and the other adult take the two non autistic children to something they would enjoy. Obviously I’m assuming your other children aren’t autistic.

  • in reply to Ann :)

    Have you asked her what it is that she is anxious about regarding the holiday? 

  • Always going to the same place for holidays can help- it makes the holiday home a second home. This might not he practical though. The only holidays I still went on after moving out from hhome were hiking holidays (anywhere in world would have been fine), since being injured 4 years ago I haven’t gone anywhere on holiday. What made the hiking holiday fine was the in built routine, the ability to plan it meticulously myself, having all i needed with me- even though the surroundings changed and there is of course unpredictability, there were a lot of aspects of hiking holidays that were predictable and made me feel safe. 
    I’ve also had to move a lot and I struggled but I have a few ideas. 
    It really helps to have some things stay the same/ be consistent- maybe take some familiar food, keep some part of routine the same or take some other familiar items. The scary thing about holidays is all the change and unpredictability, so you need to try to minimise that- maybe getting your daughter involved in planning could help as well? I’m less sure about this as it could also heighten anxiety but ultimately I find that for me it helps when I can plan and identify possible challenges and solve them. 

    the only thing to be cautious about is to not get stuck to a routine that is difficult to take with you- my daily bike ride gives me comfort and security and when I moved country job etc that stayed the same. But it has got to the point where it is a hindrance because I am so dependent on this now (also as it is one of only forms of exercise i can currently do) but this is unhelpful when thinking about a holiday. 

  • Maybe keep her out of the planning and hope that she will feel better when its the day to leave?

  • When i look back over my life i had panic, anxiety and overwhelm leading up to a holiday. I still dont understand it. There have been holidays booked and paid fir and i havent gone, it was that bad.